wish for as many wishes as I want!!! |
I have never taken a cock in my mouth. But Have given deep throat, I love to hold it in deep and hard, have them looking into my eyes as I hold it there, when I feel the time is right pull out and watch gasps of air and then push deep in again.
TRUST is a big thing & it's why they look into my eyes at all times. |
G-son, ‘Granddad, whats you secret to a happy marriage?’
Me, ‘Well we still make a point of going out twice a week’ G-son, ‘Where do you go?’ Me, ‘It’s not where It’s when, Grandma goes out Thursday & Friday, I go out Monday & Tuesday!’ |
Me, ‘Did you know, I can 100% tell if someone is lying just by looking at them’
Mate, ‘That’s interesting’ Me, ‘I can also tell if they are standing or sitting!’ |
Mate, “Did I ever mention I worked for the Royal mint making coins for a while?”
Me, “No, how long were you there?” Mate, “Oh not long, I quit” Me, “Did you have trouble making heads or tails of it!” |
Me, ‘I once went to dinner with a girl whose family turned out to be cannibals’
Mate, ‘wow that’s freaky, how was the date?’ Me, I turned up late and she gave me the cold shoulder!’ |
Me, ‘I have been making a model of Mount Everest’
Mate, ‘Is it to scale?’ Me, ‘No, only to look at!’ |
Boy, ‘Dad can you tell me what an eclipse is?’
Me, ‘No Son!’ |
Me, ‘Have you heard about that new film “constipation”?’
Mate, ‘I have not seen it in the cinema’ Me, ‘well that because it’s not out yet!’ |
Me, ‘As a kid I loved playing with granddad & making sandcastles in the garden, until I was told to stop’
Wife, ‘that sounds nice dear, but why did you have to stop’ Me, ‘I was told to put grandad back in his urn & return him to the mantelpiece’ |
Me, ‘What do you think of my singing?’
Wife, ‘I think you should sing tenor . .’ Me, ‘. . .wow really!’ Wife, ‘If you let me finish, tenor eleven miles away for me!!!’ |
Mate, ‘My favourite composer died recently’
Me, ‘So technically de-composing now!’ |
Mate, "I have had trouble sleeping"
Me, "I can't see why people have such a problem sleeping" Mate, "what do you mean you can't see why?" Me, "well I can do it with my eyes closed!". |
If you are not a British or moreover a Londoner, you might not get this one.
Mate, ‘Do you know what a propaganda is?’ Me, ‘Well when you say it like that, it’s when a Brit looks at something rally closely!’ |
PMSL I was thinking about a birthday card a minuet ago bella, thanks for the advice.
'Dear MUM the cost of greetings cards is ridicules, so I got you a jar of spunk instead xx' |
Me, ‘Scientists have found a new creature, it appears to have no nose or identifiable body!’
Mate, ‘That sounds very strange, what’s it called?’ Me, ‘Nobody Knows!!’ |
Kid, ‘Dad whats that silver car’
Me, ‘It is a DeLorean’ Kid, ‘It’s not been used much’ Me, ‘Well it was only driven from time to time!’ |
Me, “we had to take our kid to the doctors, he ate a load of scrabble tiles”
Mate, “ Oh no what did the doctor say?” Me, “he’ will be fine but hes might start talking shit” |
Girlfriend, “When I first moved out on my own, I brought my self a locket and put my picture in it”
Me, “why put YOUR picture in it?” Girlfriend, “So I can prove I am independent!” |
Me, ‘I have lost a shoe’
Mate, ‘do you want a hand finding it?’ Me, ‘I am sure it will turn up after a bit of sole searching’ |
I have always wonderd how it would feel. |
Its a great song |
Mike + the Mechanics
'The Living Years' only registered users can see external links Every generation Blames the one before And all of their frustrations Come beating on your door I know that I'm a prisoner To all my Father held so dear I know that I'm a hostage To all his hopes and fears I just wish I could have told him in the living years Oh, crumpled bits of paper Filled with imperfect thought Stilted conversations I'm afraid that's all we've got You say you just don't see it He says it's perfect sense You just can't get agreement In this present tense We all talk a different language Talking in defence Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear) You can listen as well as you hear It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die) To admit we don't see eye to eye So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past We only sacrifice the future It's the bitterness that lasts So don't yield to the fortunes You sometimes see as fate It may have a new perspective On a different day And if you don't give up, and don't give in You may just be okay So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear) You can listen as well as you hear Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die) To admit we don't see eye to eye I wasn't there that morning When my Father passed away I didn't get to tell him All the things I had to say I think I caught his spirit Later that same year I'm sure I heard his echo In my baby's new born tears I just wish I could have told him in the living years Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear) You can listen as well as you hear It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die) To admit we don't see eye to eye So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud) Say it clear (come on say it clear) |
I'm not even sure I could handle a hour of constant cock attention, I have always wanted similar done to me (women/couple), constant state of prolonged orgasm! |
Me, “hows the leg?”
Mate, “Just come back from the Doc , apparently all my life I have been double jointed in hip, knee & ankle?” Me, “Anything that can help” Mate, “I just need to walk differently” Me, “If I had only you had known it was that simple, I bet you could have kicked yourself!” |
Chase & Status
All goes wrong youtu.be/hkDGGsuVKVo?feature=shared Would you take a bullet? Would you bite the gun? I've fallen to my knees and yes the war's already won So please don't take me for no fool I spend a lifetime in your shoes And now I'm walking, yes, I'm walking Through the fire I'll keep burning on Well I'll hold myself together When it all goes wrong The fires, they keep burning on Well I'll hold myself together When it all goes wrong When it all goes wrong When it all goes wrong I'll take my time, I'll keep on holding on When it all goes wrong When it all goes wrong When it all goes wrong I'll pull myself together, keep on holding on See pop shows near London Get tickets as low as $6 You might also like All These Nights Tom Grennan Lovin On Me Jack Harlow My Heart Will Go On Cйline Dion Gloves off, we're finished You bite the hand that feeds I'll nurse your battle scars But you'll leave my heart to bleed So please don't take me for no fool I spend a lifetime in your shoes And now I'm walking, yes, I'm walking Through the fire I'll keep burning on Well I'll hold myself together When it all goes wrong When it all goes wrong When it all goes wrong I'll take my time, I'll keep on holding on When it all goes wrong When it all goes wrong When it all goes wrong I'll pull myself together, keep on holding on Just like I take my faints You keep playing the same old games But remember, but remember, oh no |
Mate, “what did the boss want you for?”
Me, “to give me a haircut” Mate, “a haircut!!” Me, “yes, I think he’s grooming me for promotion” |
Me, ‘why do you keep hanging grapes all over your house to dry?’
Mate, ‘why do you care, you don’t live here?’ Me, ‘I have my raisins’ |
Me, ‘I might have two or three Motown pun’s ready to go’
Mate, ‘Oh my please no more’ Me, ‘Well perhaps Four Tops!’ |
Me, ‘I once had to work long shifts at a pizza house, to make ends meet’
Mate, ‘money drives the devil, was you delivering?’ Me, ‘Yes and yes, I kneaded the dough’ |
Me, ‘Why do they need to paly music in the lift, it not even good’
Mate, ‘what is wrong with it?’ Me, ‘It’s just bad on so many levels!’ |
Two Antennas got married . . . .
The reception was amazing! |
Me, ‘my first flat was above a museum, I didn’t stay there long’
Mate, ‘Oh why was that?’ Me, ‘I was told not to dwell on the past!’ |
Mate, ‘The concert was great’
Me, ‘I sing my best when I am really happy or very sad’ Mate, ‘why is that?’ Me, ‘I’m in-tune with my feelings!’ |
Wife, “were all going to the beach today, so why the cold sweat?”
Me, “I have a feat of tsunamis” Wife, “oh you have never mentioned it, how bad is it?” Me, “Well it comes in waves!” |
Mate, ‘that guy just threw his milk at me’
Me, ‘How dairy!’ |
What are the strongest days
Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays |
Me, “My first job was posing as a mannequin in a shop window”
Mate, “Was you any good?” Me, “Well I held the position for a long time!” |
Mate, “Whats up with you?”
Me, “Wife asked me to pass her some lip balm and I gave her some glue by accident” Mate, “You’re an idiot but she will get over it” Me, “Well it’s been a week and she’s still not talking to me!” |
Me, “Did you know I played the drums as a kid?”
Wife, “No I didn’t” Me, “I did think about taking it up again but decided not to” Wife, “well if you do there will be repercussions!” |
Mate, “fancy a game of cards?”
Me, “yes but the cards all seem stuck together” Mate, “Is it going to cause a problem?” Me, “it’s making them hard to deal with!” |
Me, “I really don’t trust atoms”
Mate, “why on earth not?” Me, “because they make up everything!” |
Me, “I don’t like the shoes from a drug store”
Mate, “whats up with them?” Me, “I am constantly tripping!” |
Me, “Your looking smooth, had your hair done mate?”
Mate, “yes, said to the hairdresser to make me look sexy” Me, “How much did she need to drink?” |
Mate, “My favourite movie is, ‘the hunt for the Red October’”.
Me, “I don’t like movies with sub titles”. |