I like to show off my anatomy
Without any ounce of fat on me,
But don't tell my mum
That I have a big bum,
Beware if you ever do rat on me.

* * * *

I just made that up.

Bloke went to a restaurant and the waitress said: "we've got whalemeat curry, whalemeat stew, whalemeat fry up and a Vera Lynn."
"What's a Vera Lynn?" asked the bloke.
"Whalemeat again," replied the waitress.

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Thanks, glad you like

Because I'm gay!

Thank you for your compliments and sympathy. Not wishing to denigrate Mary's solo career, I should have said she did have a fair degree of success but not quite as successful as Diana's.

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803x7wkshvm9pic.html
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Sorry, the second pic is my most recent. The first I clicked on a wrong number by mistake.

What did ET's mum say to him when he got home?
"Where on earth have you been?"

* * * *

I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang. But it eventually came back to me.

* * * *

What do you call 6 weeks of rain in Scotland?#
Summer.

* * * *

A horse is recovering after an operation. The vet says its in a stable condition.

* * * *

Did you hear about the archaeologist who got the sack?
His career lies in ruins.

* * * *

I found an old newspaper the other day with a report that Madonna tore her expensive new dress when she fell down some stairs at a Brit Awards ceremony. She blames the material girl.

* * * *

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

* * * *

How do horse enjoy summertime?
They make neigh while the sun shines.

* * * *

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.

* * * *

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?
A barber queue.

* * * *

I met my wife at a Singles Bar. Strange, as I thought she was at home looking after the kids.

* * * *

It certainly is an old one but I'd forgotten it. I can tell that one in the park this afternoon if the conversation dries up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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And to you too, tb

Only 37 years old and 47 years ago in five days' time on 20th December 2013. I remember my dad coming home from work and saying what a shame he had died. Love all his records, especially "Dream Lover", "Beyond the Sea" and "Things" among many others.

I see you're a fan of the late great Bobby Darin too!

I don't know how the word Sad appeared in the caption but apologies for that.

Alas I've never been to America but have always wanted to and Michigan would be on my list to see one of the Great Lakes. I would also love to go to Lubbock in Texas to visit the birthplace of my musical hero Buddy Holly and visit his grave to pay my respects.

I like tender gay sex, not too rough and for it to last as long as possible

I've had gay threesomes, foursomes and orgies

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Good morning to you too, my friend

Thank you all for your comments. Several years ago, I saw Jason Connery (Sean's son with Diane Cilento) full frontal nude on stage in a play at the Richmond Theatre in south-west London.

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Did you hear about the cat that caught coronavirus?
Don't ask me 'ow.

* * * *

A fairground worker recently got the sack. He is suing his bosses for funfair dismissal.

* * * *

Boris Johnson

VERY sorry, that should be DAME Diana Rigg, of course. Apologies to Dame Diana for the typing error.

Standing or lying down, I like both ways!

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It certainly is

Personal hygiene is VERY important to me so I shower every day. What other people do is up to them.

I pull my foreskin back to clean every day when I'm in the shower but I don't usually pull it back to pee.
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Thanks too for your great compliments, tb my friend, TRULY appreciated

Thank you

I LOVE being NUDE, never wear clothes at home unless non-nudist friends visit and was a member of a nudist club for many years until the owner died and it got taken over and went downhill.

Hello tb

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Yes, it is very very sad news, I was a fan of The Goodies and he will be very much missed. Tim also appeared on panel games like the BBC's radio show "Just a minute" where they have to speak on a given subject for a minute without hesitation, repetition or deviation and other star contestants buzz in if they veer from those rules. After The Goodies finished, Bill Oddie became an ornithologist and Graeme Garden went back to his medical career. Another "celebrity" who passed away recently from this terrible virus was the comedian Eddie Large who was one half of a comedy duo named Little & Large, the other guy being Syd Little (both stage names of course). Eddie was in hospital with a heart condition and caught the virus while he was in there, such a shame. And as of last night, the death toll in the UK had risen to just over 10,600, its staggering, like something out of an H.G. Wells novel and doctors and nurses have been among the victims. To all frontline staff across the world, doctors, nurses, paramedics, etc, I salute you.