“Immigrant Song” - Led Zeppelin

Ah! Ah!
We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow

The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands
To fight the horde, sing and cry
Valhalla, I am coming

On we sweep with threshing oar
Our only goal will be the western shore

Ah! Ah!
We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow

How soft your fields so green
Can whisper tales of gore
Of how we calmed the tides of war
We are your overlords

On we sweep with threshing oar
Our only goal will be the western shore

So now you'd better stop
And rebuild all your ruins
For peace and trust can win the day
Despite of all your losing

“Like To Get To Know You Well” - Howard Jones

I'd like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together

I'd like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together
Together

Together we can cast away the fear
Together we can wipe away the tear
Together we can strip down the barriers
And be one

Don't wanna talk about the weather
Don't wanna talk about the news
Just wanna get to the real you inside

Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together

Don't you think now is the time
We should be feelin'
Just wanna simply say
Won't let you slip away

People wanna talk about the future
Don't wanna linger on the past
Just wanna reach the real you inside
Forget cold glances and rejections
Leave the things that separate
Build on a trust that we must stand on

Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together
Together

Finding all are insecure
Opening the same door
Leaving out a stubborn pride
Seeing from another side

Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together

Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together

Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together

Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together

Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
Like to get to know you well
So we can be one, we can be one together

“Back In The Saddle” - Aerosmith

I'm back
I'm back in the saddle again
I'm back
I'm back in the saddle again

Ridin' into town alone
By the light of the moon
I'm looking for ole' Sukie Jones
She crazy horse saloon

Barkeep gimme a drink
That's when she caught my eye
She turned to give me a wink
That'd make a grown man cry

'Cause I'm back in the saddle again
I'm back
I'm back in the saddle again
I'm back

Come easy, go easy, alright
'Til the rising sun
I'm calling all the shots tonight
I'm like a loaded gun

Peelin' off my boots and chaps
I'm saddle sore
Four bits gets you time in the racks
I scream for more

Fools' gold out of their mines
The girls are soaking wet
No tongue's drier than mine
I'll come when I get back

I'm back in the saddle again
I'm back
I'm back in the saddle again

I'm riding, I'm loading up my pistol
I'm riding, I really got a fistful
I'm riding, I'm shining up my saddle
I'm riding, this snake is gonna rattle

I'm back in the saddle again
I'm back
I'm back in the saddle again
I'm back

Ridin' high
Ridin' high
Ridin' high, yeah
Ridin' high

“Fire” - Pointer Sisters

I'm ridin' in your car
You turn on the radio
You're pullin' me close
I just say no
I say I don't like it
But you know I'm a liar
'Cause when we kiss
Ooooh, fire

Late at night
You're takin' me home
You say you wanna stay
I say I wanna be alone
I say I don't love you
But you know I'm a liar
'Cause when we kiss
Ooooh, fire

You had a hold on me
Right from the start
A grip so tight
I couldn't tear it apart
My nerves all jumpin'
Actin' like a fool
Well, your kisses they burn
But my heart stays cool

Well, Romeo and Juliet
Samson and Delilah
Baby, you can bet
A love they couldn't deny
My words say split
But my words they lie
'Cause when we kiss
Ooooh, fire

Ooooh, fire
Hot kisses like fire
Burn me up with fire
I like what you're doin' now
Fire
Touchin' me with
Fire
Touchin' me, burnin' me with fire
Take me home
Fire, kisses like fire

“Stop Dragging My Car Around” - “Weird Al” Yankovic

Had to park my car for just five minutes
I had to go inside to use the phone
When I came back again my car was gone
Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone
What a bummer, I was so brought down
I had to chase that tow truck all over town, yellin'

Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my car around

Took my baby to the local disco, I was jumpin' like a maniac
But then the owner came and pulled me off the floor
Then he, he took me to his little office in the back
He said, I really like your snaggletooth necklace
Your pants are groovy, and your hair's okay
But, man, that car of yours is so uncool
Like wow, I'm sorry, but we towed it away!

Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my car around

Now I'm at home, I'm watchin' Gilligan's Island
Guess it's time to trade my old car in
For twenty dollars and my '64 Plymouth
Maybe I could get a second-hand Schwinn
Look out the window, there's tow truck in the driveway
I grabbed the driver and I asked him why
He said, I'm sorry kid, you're late with the payments
It's time to kiss your little car goodbye

Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my car around
Stop draggin' my car around

Listen, the check's in the mail, no, really
Stop draggin' my car around
Oh man, I just got the hub caps painted
Stop draggin' my car around
Hey! Hey! I left a sandwich in the backseat
Stop draggin' my car around
Oh

“What Kind Of Fool Am I?” - Anthony Newley

What kind of fool am I
Who never fell in love?
It seems that I'm the only one
That I have been thinking of
What kind of man is this?
An empty shell
A lonely cell
In which an empty heart must dwell

What kind of clown am I?
What do I know of life?
Why can't I cast away
This mask of play and live my life?
Why can't I fall in love
Like any other man
And maybe then I'll know
What kind of fool I am?

What kind of lips are these
That lied with every kiss?
That whispered empty words of love
That left me alone like this
What kind of eyes are these
That could not see
What could be seen
By everybody else but me?

What kind of clown am I?
What do I know of life?
Why can't I cast away
This mask of play and live my life?
Why can't I fall in love
'Til I don't give a damn
And maybe then I'll know
What kind of fool I am?

Yes. Yes, I do.

“I Won’t Let It Happen” - Ramones

Got my sights, baby, set on you
The things she said, well, maybe they're true

But it's not gonna happen
I won't let it happen
I won't let it happen, not again

Easy come, easy go, easily
But that's not how I want it to be

It's not gonna happen
I won't let it happen
I won't let it happen, not again

Sitting all alone by the telephone
When are you coming home
When are you coming home
Hey!

Easy come, easy go, easily
But that's not how I want it to be

And it's not gonna happen
I won't let it happen
I won't let it happen, not again
Not again
Not again
Not again

"(Love Is Like A) Heat Wave” - Martha and the Vandellas

Whenever I'm with him
Something inside
Starts to burning
And I'm filled with desire
Could it be a devil in me
Or is this the way love's supposed to be?

It's like a heat wave
Burning in my heart (It's like a heat wave)
I can't keep from crying (It's like a heat wave)
It's tearing me apart

Whenever he calls my name
Soft, low, sweet, and plain
Right then, right there, I feel that burning flame
Has high blood pressure got a hold on me
Or is this the way love's supposed to be?

It's like a heat wave
Burning in my heart (It's like a heat wave)
I can't keep from crying (It's like a heat wave)
It's tearing me apart

Ooh, heat wave
Ooh, heat wave

Sometimes I stare in space
Tears all over my face
I can't explain it, don't understand it
I ain't never felt like this before
Now that funny feeling has me amazed
Don't know what to do, my head's in a haze

It's like a heat wave
Burning in my heart (It's like a heat wave)
I can't keep from crying (It's like a heat wave)
It's tearing me apart

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(But it's all right, girl)
(Go ahead, girl)
Yeah, yeah
(Well, it's all right, girl)
(Can't miss it, that's love, girl)
I feel it burning
(Don't pass up this chance)
Right here in my heart
(It sounds like a true romance)
Don't you know it's like a heat wave?

“One Toke Over The Line” - Brewer and Shipley

One toke over the line, sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sitting downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

Waiting for the train that goes home, sweet Mary
Hoping that the train is on time
Sitting downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

Who do you love? I hope it's me
I've been changing, as you can plainly see
I felt the joy and I learned about the pain
That my momma said
If I should choose to make a part of me
Would surely strike me dead

And now I'm one toke over the line, sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sitting downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line
Waiting for the train that goes home, sweet Mary
Hoping that the train is on time
Sitting downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

I sail away a country mile
And now I'm returning and showing off my smile
I met all the girls and I loved myself a few
And to my surprise
Like everything else I've been through
It opened up my eyes

And now I'm one toke over the line, sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sitting downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line
Don't you know I'm just waiting for the train that goes home, sweet Mary
Hoping that the train is on time
Sitting downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

Don't you know I'm just waiting for the train that goes home, sweet Mary
Hoping that the train is on time
(Sitting downtown) Sitting in a railway station
One toke over the line

I want to be one toke over the line, sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
(Sitting downtown) Sitting in a railway station
One toke over the line

(Don't you know I'm just waiting for the train that goes home, sweet Mary)
Waiting for the train that goes home
Hoping that the train is on time
(Sitting downtown) Sitting in a railway station
One toke over the line
Sitting downtown in a railway station
One toke over line
One toke, one toke over the line

In a heartbeat!

“Love Is A Battlefield” - Pat Benatar

(We are young, we are young)
We are young (heartache to heartache)
Heartache to heartache we stand (we stand)
(No promises) no promises, (no demands) no demands
(Love is a battlefield) love is a battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

You're beggin' me to go, then makin' me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad?
It would help me to know, do I stand in your way
Or am I the best thing you've had?

Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why
But I'm trapped by your love
And I'm chained to your side

We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

When I'm losing control, will you turn me away
Or touch me deep inside?
And when all this gets old, will it still feel the same?
There's no way this will die

But if we get much closer, I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders, you'll need me to hold

We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

Randy Andy has been booted out onto the streets!

“She Came In Through The Bathroom Window” - The Beatles


(Gonna come out now
Ha ha ha
Wow look out.)

She came in through the bathroom window
Protected by a silver spoon
But now she sucks her thumb and wonders
By the banks of her own lagoon

Didn't anybody tell her?
Didn't anybody see?
Sunday's on the phone to Monday
Tuesday's on the phone to me

She said she'd always been a dancer
She worked at fifteen clubs a day
And though she thought I knew the answer
Well, I knew what I could not say

And so I quit the police department
And got myself a steady job
And though she tried her best to help me
She could steal, but she could not rob

Didn't anybody tell her?
Didn't anybody see?
Sunday's on the phone to Monday
Tuesday's on the phone to me, oh yeah

“It’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than it is to be a gardener in a war.” - Sun Tzu

Don’t be sad. Be happy. You learned something new.

“Break On Through (To The Other Side)" - The Doors

You know the day destroys the night
Night divides the day
Tried to run, tried to hide

Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side, yeah

We chased our pleasures here
Dug our treasures there
A-can you still recall time we cried?

Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side

Hey!
Come on, yeah

Everybody loves my baby
Everybody loves my baby
She get high
She get high
She get high
She get high, yeah

I found an island in your arms
Country in your eyes
Arms that chained us, eyes that lied

Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side
Break on through, ow!
Aw yeah!

Made the scene, week to week
Day to day, hour to hour
Gate is straight, deep and wide

Break on through to the other side
Break on through to the other side
Break on through, break on through
Break on through, break on through
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah

DOH!

Nice!

Ew.

It’s a joke. Go with it.

“Into The Storm” - Gojira

Go!

Say something about awakening
The rebellion you felt before
Wake, change your course, laws will follow
Restart, reactivate the core

Rise
Yeah, you come out
You're awake now
Put your fist in the air
You were hiding
Now you throw yourself
Into the storm

Stand, gather your strength
Raise your eyes
Fear not the demons
You're up against

Now that you dove down
Found the bottom, begging for air
How sad, how long it takes us to rise
And fight

Yeah, you come out
You're awake now
Put your fist in the air
You were hiding
Now you throw yourself
Into the storm

Flames
Dancing in the open
You step into the light
You step into the light

Now, that you dove down
Found the bottom, begging for air
How sad, how long it takes us to rise
And fight

Yeah, you come out
You're awake now
Put your fist in the air
You were hiding
Now you throw yourself
Into the storm

Storm
Into the storm
Storm

When we wanted to see bones, we invented the x-ray.

When we wanted to see a prenatal baby, we invented the ultrasound.

When we wanted to see the brain, we invented the MRI.

Why, then, is a finger up the ass really necessary for a prostate exam?

Jim goes to the doctor for his annual exam. The doctor comes in, takes a long look at Jim, and says, “I’ve got bad news, Jim.”

Jim, shocked, asks, “Oh, god, Doc! What is it?”

Doctor says, “You’re going to have to stop masturbating.”

Jim, still in shock, asks, “But, why, Doc? Why?”

Doc says, “Because I’m talking to you."

Our old Toyota Sienna, which we no longer have, twice became a Michigan bullet, and we don’t even live in Michigan!

First one was a little doe we hit in the middle of the road one night north of Salmon, Idaho back in 2004. I was driving and it’s been the only deer I have managed to hit. I caught a glimpse of her dancing around in panic in the headlights of an oncoming jacked-up pickup. The truck was bigger, so she decided to go my way. Took out the left front fender. She didn’t make it.

The second one was a three-point buck my wife took out one night on the way home after Boy Scouts in 2011. Crunched the whole front grille up pretty good. He didn’t make it, either.

In case you’re wondering, these were mule deer, so I’m using Western count to describe the buck. He had three points on each side.

“Before The Next Teardrop Falls” - Freddy Fender

If he brings you happiness
Then i wish you all the best
It's your happiness that matters most of all
But if he ever breaks your heart
If the teardrops ever start
I'll be there before the next teardrop falls

Si te quire de verdad
Y te da felicidad
Te deseo lo mas bueno pa'los dos
Pero si te hace llorar
A mime puedes hablar
Y estare contigo cuando treste estas

I'll be there anytime
You need me by your side
To drive away every teardrop that you cried

And if he ever leaves you blue
Just remember, I love you
And I'll be there before the next teardrop falls
And I'll be there before the next teardrop falls

“Julia Dream” - Pink Floyd

Sunlight bright upon my pillow
Lighter than an eiderdown
Will she let the weeping willow
Wind his branches round
Julia dream, dreamboat queen, queen of all my dreams

Every night I turn the light out
Waiting for the velvet bride
Will the scaly armadillo
Find me where I'm hiding
Julia dream, dreamboat queen, queen of all my dreams

Will the misty master break me
Will the key unlock my mind
Will the following footsteps catch me
Am I really dying
Julia dream, dreamboat queen, queen of all my dreams
Julia dream, dreamboat queen, queen of all my dreams
Julia dream, dreamboat queen, queen of all my dreams
Julia dream, dreamboat queen, queen of all my dreams

I’ve been saying for years that some people are job security for everyone from tow truck drivers to judges. I have yet to be proven wrong.