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An opinion on mainstream pornography

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Started by #21829 at 29,Aug,09 13:26
I know this is a weird thing to discuss on a porn site but here is my opinion: I think it has a detrimental affect on men!
From what I've observed, both in experience & in converstations, men who regularly watch porn tend to view real women differently;
1)they have less respect for the female body,
2)different expectations for her behavior during sex then is natural,
3)no interest in romance & foreplay,
4)no interest in her character, personality, preferences, opinions... anything except getting her in bed,
& that's just to name a few!!

I say that a man who is either too busy to watch a lot of porn or simply does other things in his free time (hiking, sports, music etc.) is more likely to satisfy his woman in bed. Does anyone here agree with me? If not, you may also feel free to state why


Similar topics: 1.Have you met any porn stars?   2.The CAUSE of SCHOOL SHOOTINGS in the US has finally been found.   3.Effects of Pornography on the brain   4.Bi/ Gay Porn   5.Donald Trumps website  

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Comments:
By #556372 at 19,Jun,18 12:33
I agree porn reduces women to the status of slutty whores. Some men, shallow, inexperienced, immature, may think that is the way a woman wants to be treated on and off the bed. It's a shame, but, main stream TV,movies, internet,and even books, portray normalcy in similar ways. The beer commercial has no frumpy women fully dressed, just a nubile chick in a bikini. A barely there bikini. In the sex scene in the movies, it's often the woman that jumps on top and rides the guy implying she's ready for anything. TV shshows regularly show the just met couple getting a room after one drink and some witty bantering. The last 4 generations have been exposed to this and we accept it as the norm (actually, now it is). We have also pushed the idea that "me first" is the way to succeed thus not caring to satisfy others but ourselves.
--------------------------------------- added after 10 minutes

Mixed signals contribute to this. A woman wears a top that is low cut in the front. She has a push up bra on and her cleavage is showing. A man looks at her "tits" because a man likes a good show and he is seen as a lecher. And last but not least. If a man does not know how to satisfy a woman in bed (and I don't mean size and stamina) why not teach him the way to do so, just do it with tact as men are very self concious.


By #463848 at 19,Jun,18 06:56
I do not like commercial sex videos - so contrived. If I want to watch a sex video I always switch to amateur.


By #485312 at 19,Jun,18 03:26
this is a big step in evolution l think, lve noticed mens feet have gotten bigger in this last generation, so does that mean they have less balance?? lve noticed that the younger generation think anal and rough sex is the norm and all women want to be treated like porn stars and prostitutes, lve noticed older men are more disrespectful of women after they have been divorced and treat every woman like their ex wife who they just caught fucking the neighbour.. lve found men are more dishonest online when they hide their identity and are more likely to lie about everything from appearance to cock length in the attempt to dude women into dating them. l don't know why they would think that women like lucky dip sex, and don't care about attraction and all the usual things that comes with meeting new people and forming bonds.. *lix*


By #7976 at 31,Aug,09 00:49
I just want to comment that this is one of the most intelligently discussed questions ever posted on this site. Great question Joanna.
By #21829 at 31,Aug,09 07:13
That's a very nice thing of you to say, thank you.

In reference to your earlier posts (it's just easier to reply to everything at once:), I'm not necessarily an anti-porn advocate! Like I said earlier, "I'm not stupid & I completely understand men's need for fantasy, I greatly respect artistic erotica & art that portrays nudity in a beautiful way, but unfortunatly modern mainstream pornography fails to do that, it sells sex & the human body as an item & not as something pure & lovely" I just think that a lot of it is cheap usage of the human body & imagination. You see, you are a mature person, but a lot of people in the world are not like that & those are the kind of people that get negativly affected by porn. And I again want to clarify, I'm not talking about artisic nudity or erotica that is beautiful, I'm talking about explicit, crude, & tasteless porn! If you can partake of that kind of stuff & not be affected by it then that's fine with me; I am not trying to insult you or people like you. I'm just concerned about the way the public is being brainwashed, just the same as my concerns about computer games, TV, alcohol, drugs, etc.

On the point of "regular", first of all the members of this site, when on this site, are not viewing mainstream unrealisitc porn. Most of the pics are (or are supposed to be) other member's own picutres & that's kinda different because it's their real bodies.

As far as how one quantifies the point of too much, I don't know. I guess it's when something becomes an addiction & starts having negative results. The important part of this equation is to be able to see when "enough is enough"

I think I understand your intellectual and emotional feelings on this point, I may not understand WHY you feel that way but I guess we can agree to dissagree & move on. Hope you have a nice day, good luck!
By #7976 at 01,Sep,09 01:56
I would like to know you in person I think. You have a great ability to articulate your points and as I have said before in these discussions, the most erotic or attractive thing for me in a woman is a great mind. I think we would have some great discussions and at times be very mad at each other but more often, find agreement at some level in the gray areas of every discussion.

Just to add a facet to this discussion, what is your definition of pornography? Some would find porn to be any depiction of a human being in the nude such as great statuary whether engaged in sexual/sensual activities in the depiction. On the other hand, I have long believed that depicted auto erotic cruelty is far more pornographic than explicit sex. In one, humans are behaving as normal humans are supposed to behave. In the other, humans are being debased at every level. It seems to me that Pornography is truly in the eye of the beholder. Any thoughts? By the way, your welcome for the comment and we can have this discussion in a private chat if you like. Bye for now.




By admin at 29,Aug,09 18:34 other posts of admin 
Any man who is busy too much doing some one thing, no matter if it's watching porn or playing "World of Warcraft" or even pumping his muscles at gym - is a man with a narrow mind and thus, logically, not very good with women or people at general.

Also, any developed man would know the difference between porn and real life as he does know difference between what happens in hollywood films when a good guy fights a 100 of bad guys shooting 200 rounds from a gun that have only 12 rounds and a real life where one good guy would die in 20 seconds in the same situation.

I'd say it's vice versa - not the men who watch too much porn become stupid and bad with women, but stupid men without interests, men who cannot deal well with people at general and women in particular, watch too much porn as they simply have nothing else to do and do not have other ways to satisfy their sexual needs.

It's not a question of do you like porn or not, it's a question of is it "too much" or not.
By #21829 at 30,Aug,09 07:27
Gee, I even got the admin commenting:) yes, I agree with your last statement, if you read my first post it says "men who REGULARLY watch porn tend to view real women differently."
By #7976 at 31,Aug,09 00:48
Just a question on this point... Aren't the users of this site "regular" porn users? Or, is there perhaps a thin line between what is a "regular user". I am assuming that that point where too much pornography is consumed by an individual and it has an irrational effect on his or her behavior. Then, I have to question how one quantifies the point of too much. I don't mean this to be argumentative, just a point of debate for clarification and discussion.




By #7976 at 29,Aug,09 18:11
From an enlightened perspective, I find this thinking to be old school and irritatingly backwards. There are men who are respectful of women, in fact, people in general, and there are men who are disrespectful of everyone. Weather one views porn in any form has very little effect on their basic state. I might go so far as to say that men who are insensitive idiots to begin with find some positive reinforcement in some forms of porn however, the same porn is viewed as crass and debasing by the rest of us. I for one am a student and fan of good pornography from the tile murals of Greek & Roman villas to modern erotic photography. Some of the best porn is written in romance novels, which I call "girlie porn" because of its unabashedly shameless eroticism wrapped in the cloak of mainstream literature. To say that men who enjoy pornography are all morally, romantically, or respectful challenged is too sophomoric and simplistic. If indeed this is the only men your meeting, then you need to find the rest of us. I for one would be happy to converse with you about sex or any topic you wish. And those who are crass and socially challenged, I believe they are that way to begin with, not because they are overly indulgent of pornography. That's my opinion at any rate.
By #21829 at 30,Aug,09 07:25
If you can say that "whether one views porn in any form has very little effect on their basic state," that in itself shows that your perspective is not very enlightened. I've read many of your posts on the forum & can see that you're an intelligent & educacted man, that's why I'm a bit surprised you said something like that. Take it from a person who works with a writer on human sexual relations, porn does have an affect!
By #7976 at 31,Aug,09 00:44
In general, is it fair to say your an anti-pornography advocate? You comments make it seem so. And that is OK with me. I think much of the pornographic material published is degenerate crap of the first order. However, I can look at that material and it just makes me feel sad for those who create and use it for titillation. I, for one, could look at that type of material for eternity and would have the same reaction. Therefore, I can only conclude that my basic nature is not going to change because I am exposed to porn. If that were the case, one could make the argument that anyone who reads a graphic murder mystery, like my wife loves to do, is more prone to go out and commit a murder. Or, that when someone sees a medical movie, they feel a great and uncontrollable urge to go out and perform surgery on someone. Ones basic nature as a human being is the controlling "limiter" (for lack of a more enlightened term) of everyone's behavior. Now, if one wants to make an argument that pornography has a short term effect on the psyche and libido of any individual purveyor, I can find some wiggle room to agree there but that is a long way from saying that porn has such a detrimental effect on any individual person that it effects their behavior to the level of becoming a sex addict or sexual predator.

I just want to be clear, I don't think that porn is all that great, at least not some of it, but there is some very erotic pornography which can be used by consenting adults to stimulate their relationship, sexually and emotionally. But that is a controlled response to a stimuli and is tempered by time and place. I still maintain that if it is not in your nature to let your emotions be controlled by any outside stimuli, then porn is no more of a controller than a McDonald's ad is for making a person run out and order a Big Mac.

Lastly, my heartfelt sympathy goes out to anyone, female or male, who has had a bad experience with a sexual predator whether it was an intentional act of violence against another or a misunderstanding of each others limits. In either case, the victim bears the emotional scars of the offense. Were I could be allowed in a room with a convicted predator, only one of us would come out unscathed.

As for your comment about reading my posts, I take that as a complement. I appreciate that we have somewhat of an intellectual connection however, although I think at the heart of the matter we agree on many of this topics facets, we may have to agree to disagree somewhat on the root causes. Does this clarify my intellectual and emotional feelings on this point a bit for you? If not, tell me why.




By #21829 at 30,Aug,09 07:14
Alright I agree, maybe I was a bit to global in my presentation; but the fact is that I'm not just saying it off the top of my head. Like I said before, I'm speaking from first-hand experience: when you're in a perfectly satisfying sexual relationship with a guy who is fun, respectful, & energetic, & then when his job changes to one that has him sitting online all day, you can see the difference! Suddenly, all his jokes & comments are kinda perverted, he's constantly exchanging porn vids & pics with other guys (& girls), he can't talk about any subject without switching to sex, even being in bed with hime is different because he expects you to have a blasting screaming orgasm in less than 2min (if you don't he calls you frigid), he wants you to deep-throat him every time, he isn't happy unless everything goes HIS way, he starts discussing your sex life with his friends & co-workers... anyway there are a lot of things that never happened before!
I agree with annom29, it doesn't start at an adult age, these attitudes plant their roots from an early age. And it's not like their parents allow their kids to watch porn, I'm sure most of them would freak out if they found out! Sexual education for children is a big topic that has actually been given a lot of attention by many, CHRISTIAN writers included. I again speak from experiance, my mother ws a believer (bless her soul) & she gave me the best sex ed that I could have gotten.
All that to say, my opinion is that excessive indulgence of porographic material brainwashes & dulls the natural sexual capabilities of the receiver (same as my opinion on WOW etc.:P)
By #6568 at 30,Aug,09 09:17
What you are describing in this man sounds to me like extreme frustration with the direction that his life is taking. Admitedly the porn is too available and probably not helping the situation, or quite possibly, making it much worse, but that is NOT the CAUSE os his situation so much as a SYMPTOM.

........This man needs to 'get out more', and sadly, he probably knows that too......



By #13286 at 29,Aug,09 18:54
I agree with some of what you write, OP.

The thing about seeking replies from men (who are most of the users on this site) is that you're not going to be getting so many replies from the people who've experienced sex with porn-influenced men.

On the extreme end of the spectrum, I have friends who were sexually assaulted by dates who were reenacting things they saw in porn. On the less extreme side, I constantly get requests for chats from guys here who are clearly heavily-influenced by mainstream porn. I have many other personal experiences that were influenced by someone's porn use, also.

Let's face it: sex ed in schools currently sucks in most countries, and these days kids are starting to view porn around the age of 10. How could that NOT have an affect?
By admin at 29,Aug,09 19:49 other posts of admin 
Indeed, when you are talking about kids, porn can affect them as well as brutal movies and other stuff. But obviously, porn is not meant for kids and, frankly, if their parents permit them to watch porn instead of educating them in more intelligent manner - it's their problem, not ours. And indeed you cannot rely on schools in this matter. Have you seen South Park Season 5: Proper Condom Use serie? It's about sex education at school. It's a parody, indeed, but very close to how it really looks.

Also, there are always ways to screw it. I can tell you about some countries of Latin America, where mothers tell their kids that if a girl get laid with you earlier than after 6 months of the acquaintance - she's a whore and you can do everything with her but marry her. And many young guys follow those instructions - they fuck girls for months or even years lying to them about love and then dump them because "they are whores". Would you prefer that?

By #7976 at 29,Aug,09 19:52
Firstly, your making a universal prejudgement that can't be made logically. Unfortunately, it is not that people contacting you on this site are not porn-influenced because anyone who is on this site is porn-influenced by the very nature of the site. However, there are still jerks and there are gentlemen whether influenced by porn or not. As for which you spend your quality time with on-line is your call. I think you can weed out one from the other pretty quickly and "just say no" works as well here as in person. As for putting up with the introductory nonsens while you discover exactly who your chatting with, that also comes with the territory. You need to be just open minded enough to allow for the idiots and closed minded enough to delete them from your circle of friends as soon as possible. That is what the "Ban" button is for and thanks to Admin for giving you that option.

As for past experiences, I apologize for every and any man who has forced himself on a woman. I won't even try to get into a debate on how things get that out of hand but in the end, only a truly debased, psychologically disturbed individual would force themselves on another human being, sexually or otherwise.

As for sex in schools, that is a never ending argument which is more likely influenced by religious zealots of all faiths who can't and/or won't agree on what is normal in terms of sexual behavior. If it were a purely physiologically scientific matter, sex education in schools would be very open and honest, bordering on boring; much as math, physic, and languages are today.

Keep the faith annom29. Your a beautiful, sexy woman and I for one would love to get to know you. As for the rest of the men out there. If they irk you, it's their loss.



By #15347 at 29,Aug,09 18:20
i agree with you totally bushpilot,and may i say,very well written.
By #7976 at 29,Aug,09 19:00
Thank you.






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