Do you think you can accept your partner the way he/she is?

By bigone21 at 18,Sep,13 22:20 other posts of bigone21

i thinks that living your life as a monogamous couple is an over-rated cocept. the numbers of people cheating on eachother and divorcing eachother because the are not able to live up to this concept proof that point.

i'm NOT for fucking around in a relationship! absolutely not, that has NOTHING to do with being in a relationship!

i think people should try to stay in touch with eachother, and accept that a person can change in the course of 1, 2 3, or even 4 decades. be honest and talk...

sex is not the MOST important thing, but REPRESSED sex is a killer!

By bigone21 at 16,Sep,13 22:55 other posts of bigone21

@ Peach: I think you "frame" this question much to narrow...

The answer depends on what brought you in into the relation, and how essential that is.

Example:
Your fortunate man/women goes bankrupt;
Your atheist partner goes religious;
Your healthy partner gets handicapped;
Your happy partner gets into a depression;
Your healthy partner gets seriously ill, and yes
Your partner has bisexual feelings!

What to do? That depends on your mindset...

One would say: run for your life, this is not the person with whom i started a relationship;
The other would say: "hey, don't worry, we're in this together"!

And some will take years to decide...

By #415959 at 16,Sep,13 23:26

You didn't say anything different, then what a Peach already said.

Stop being evasive, bigone21...

But alas, you answered her question, by accident...you did.

"hey, don't worry, we're in this together"!

By bigone21 at 17,Sep,13 00:06 other posts of bigone21

@ 2nice: i DID say anything different: being bisexual is ONLY ONE of the MANY serious problems that can come into a relationship.

i like you to stop being a smart guy on all my comments. if you must, and have to, because i'm talking shit, i understand you have some feeling of having an obligation to do so, and to fight all the bullshit i bring into this world. if i do so.

why do you think that "by accident" i came up with "hey, don't worry, we're in this together"??

by accident? that's the man i am, in a relationship for 20 years. it's NO accident that i have a soft and understanding side!

you might think i'm annoying (will be about what i think about cut/uncut), but could you please try NOT make my opinion on other matters look foolish by being clever or nasty?

you're an intelligent person, your english is 20 times better than mine, please stop making me the enemy. because i'm not, and i'm not a fool.

By #415959 at 17,Sep,13 01:00

I was merely agreeing with your statement.

"Hey, (partner) don't worry, (at any cost) we're in this together"!

By the way, for the record, I have no recollection of demonstrating any sort of argument against you.

I do not think of you as a fool.

By bigone21 at 17,Sep,13 17:39 other posts of bigone21

@ 2nice: well, thanks! that being said and settled clears the sky! thanks!

By #301038 at 17,Sep,13 03:24

Well, I'm not here to discuss broader life issues, I'm interested in a very narrow aspect of human sexuality and what would you do, if something fundamentally important changes about your partner.

To answer your questions:
Your fortunate man/women goes bankrupt; - We keep out finances together and if we got in this shit together, we are getting out of it together too.
Your atheist partner goes religious; - Oh fuck no, I'm out.
Your healthy partner gets handicapped; - Not a problem, I was an Army wife for 4 years and possibility of having a handicapped partner was a very real one.
Your happy partner gets into a depression; - Provide help, care, support and understanding.
Your healthy partner gets seriously ill, - Same as above.
Your partner has bisexual feelings! - I doubt this would ever happen, but I don't think, that I would be able to overcome this one.

There are things that I wouldn't compromise on, because they fundamentally change how I feel about that person. Like, religion, it's something I will never be able to put with...

By bigone21 at 17,Sep,13 21:00 other posts of bigone21

i think we think alike on most of that points!

except, and that answers your original question, the bisexual feelings. i wouldn't have problems with that. that would mean having sex with F/M instead of M/M couples, i would not mind that..!

might be fun!

By #301038 at 18,Sep,13 06:57

Have you ever had sex with a female?

By bigone21 at 18,Sep,13 21:08 other posts of bigone21

some in my teens, experimenting; some begin twenties, but, when my dick lost it at the point of sticking it in, i had to face it was not (just) "fear of flying", but i had to come with terms that i was (am) gay! took some more years.

By #360973 at 18,Sep,13 07:06

I'm straight and pretty conventional. If a woman i was with decided she wanted someone other than me, i'd leave her - the fact that the other person would be a woman makes no difference (i eat pussy like a gold medal winning lesbian anyway lol

). Love is a powerful thing, but ego is too...and people that don't seek out relationships just coz they need to feel safe start to become very picky with who they'd start and stay in a relationship with (i.e., little things like that, regardless of whether love is involved, make me want to leave and start searching for someone more perfectly matched to me)
--------------------------------------- added after 12 minutes

Just realised i'd already answered this - my bad

By #124665 at 18,Sep,13 09:53

Stop trying to play off that you aren't sending me dick pics, which I blow up, and print, frame and post them in my shrine room for you

By #360973 at 18,Sep,13 09:54

that was our s e c r e t, you fucker

By #124665 at 18,Sep,13 09:56

Shhh.. Go to bed (my bed) shhh

By #124665 at 17,Sep,13 20:49

Sexual orientation should be discussed at some point very early on in a relationship to avoid such "surprises" later on. Expectations and boundaries to be respected by both parties. Acceptance from the beginning should be a determiner of whether your partner is a good match so as not to just be wasting your time. It's only fair, and acceptance is important and people don't usually fare well in a relationship built on secrets and lies.

By #301038 at 18,Sep,13 06:58

The thing with sexuality, is that, sometimes, it changes with time...

By #124665 at 18,Sep,13 09:45

Maybe but not really so much. I doubt many wake up one day and have an unstoppable craving to have a cock in their mouth (if you're a guy). You don't just turn gay, it's something that has always been "hanging around" since you were first learning about sexuality. Gay, bi, whatever, curious..? You're likely to act on these thoughts eventually, in some way, shape or form.

Repressed desire can and does poison relationships unless you can handle taming the mind demons indefinitely. It's still gonna be there though. You see a lot of posts here about "I'm straight but I really wanna suck a dick!" Many of these guys are married or whatever, but till they came here, with the freedom to express the desire, they may have felt the need to repress, because of "normal" societal standards and being confused with their sexual orientation..

Many adolescents experiment at some point. There isn't a guy or girl that at some point sees a peer naked and compares, thinks about it, ect.. A lot of young men growing up will have their first sexual expirence with a peer, jerking off to porn or whatever, it's totally natural. You know pretty early on if you prefer pussy, dick, or both. I'm sure women aren't much different. Whether you communicate this to your partner, and they accept you for it, is all an individual thing. Everyone is different, acceptance isn't always easy.

By #358797 at 14,Jun,13 00:24

Been there before, first boyfriend back in highschool, 3 and a half years in he decided he wanted to try sucking some cock, I helped and found one for him. Not that I really wanted to or anything. I'm pretty damn greedy when it comes to my men. But, anyways, I left him shortly afterwards because he kept trying to get me to share a cock with him. Not my cup of tea. I definitely have mixed feelings, I'll share a girl, but not a guy. Lol.

By #301038 at 16,Sep,13 11:07

I know what you are talking about, never experienced it with a long term bf, but had couple flings, who forgot to mention that they do like some cock on the side. Kind of gave me an uneasy feeling. I imagine some of them wouldn't use condoms while having anal sex, just as some of them wouldn't clean their ass before being fucked. I don't mind the gay sex, I just get grossed out by the shit on the dick picture... and I doubt, that watching two guys suck each other would be a turn on. Now, two guys who give all attention to me, that's another story...

By bigone21 at 16,Sep,13 23:37 other posts of bigone21

don't clean their asses before anal sex??? that's serious puke!!

By #301038 at 17,Sep,13 03:08

I'm glad we agree on that

But there are bunch of people that, in fact, have anal sex without having a cleansing enema beforehand.

By #311947 at 17,Sep,13 10:13

Gotta prep before play.

By bigone21 at 17,Sep,13 17:49 other posts of bigone21

@ Peach:

i can't understand how to have anal sex without cleaning up before... i like to lick, fuck and fist with guys asses, but if it is not clean, i rather masturbate...

accidents can happen, poking around in an asshole, play goes on after another enema-round.

anal sex is ONLY fun (BIG TIME!!) thanks to anal douching!

By #311947 at 16,Sep,13 12:12

Hopefully they can understand and if their relationship truly is unconditional love than perhaps they can work something out. Me and my girl are completely honest with each other and discuss fantasies. She is aware of my curiosity towards other penis. Im aware of her appreciation for other girls and different cock. We discuss it, occasionally engage, and have been together for half our life time. Alot of people in relationships carry to many secrets or skeletons in their closets which I feel repression doesnt add up to anything good eventually. We both know and feel that if either of us develops an interest towards something, that we can go to the other with out judgment or fear.

Do you think you can accept your partner the way he/she is?

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