I'm 59 and horny

My favourite naturist beach in England, Holkham in Norfolk on the East Anglian coast, is being closed permanently to nudists from tomorrow, July 1, because of "inappropriate behaviour". This is sad news because I have spent many happy hours in the sand dunes. If you want to indulge in "inappropriate behaviour" there are plenty of places to be discreet, but I am afraid some guys have been indiscreet and ruined it for everyone else.

I was born in a beauty salon
My father was a dresser of hair
My mother was a girl you could call on
When you called she was always there.
Ah but don't go home with your hard-on
It will only drive you insane
You can't shake it (or break it) with your Motown
You can't melt it down in the rain.

Good advice, I would say.

My record for being naked at home is 72 hours (Sat/Sun/Mon) earlier this year. I work from home and keep a robe handy in case of visitors. My ambition is to go naked for a whole week.