"Tantra is different from western ideas about sex in some other important ways. The western concept of sex is like a story with a clear beginning (sexual excitement), middle (penetration), and end (orgasm). This is the way it?s supposed to be and if you don?t follow the story, something is wrong. Sex without penetration is often viewed as being "not real? or ?merely? foreplay.
In Tantric sex the point of sex is not orgasm, the point is to feel. There is no clear cut beginning middle or end. Most of the exercises related to Tantric sex involve slowing things down, trying not to focus on our external body, or orgasm, or anything outside of our experience of the moment.

Without a focus on orgasm, the goal becomes increased awareness leading to greater understanding of ourselves, which eventually leads to enlightenment. There is no pressure to "get over the top". This doesn't mean that orgasm doesn't exist in Tantra, it just isn't the be all and end all. The spiritual practice and the good sexual feelings are inter-related, each leading back to, and improving the other.

What Tantric sex ?looks like? will be different for different people. Tantra is taught by many teachers around the world, who have their own take on it, influenced by the cultures they grew up in. Certainly a key feature of Tantric sex is the importance of breathing, and slowing down sexual behavior compared to the hectic, orgasm-focused North American approach."