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THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN TOILET PAPER CRISIS!

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Started by AussieMan187 at 04,Mar,20 19:10  other posts of AussieMan187
So it seems that everyone in Australia is panicking like the sky is falling & we're desperately stocking up on TP. It's so bad that the shelves have been left BARE. But the chaos doesn't just stop there, oh no. Trucks with loads of toilet paper are running off the road in their haste to deliver the people the much needed comfort of some three ply shitter paper. Now we're people have to resort to using the phone book pages...

Checkout these news reports:
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Similar topics: 1.What do you do with your cum after masturbating?   2.toilet paper roll test pictures and reviews   3.Selling Toilet Paper   4.Toilet Paper Roll Challenge!   5.Toilet Rolls  

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Comments:
By bigg at 12,Mar,20 17:31 other posts of bigg 
Clearly an outbreak of Cornholio-itis. The great Cornholio needs TP for his bung-hole. Will there be TP in the lobby?
By AussieMan187 at 13,Mar,20 00:21 other posts of AussieMan187 
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My bunghole cannot wait!
By whatsupcocks at 15,Mar,20 21:47 other posts of whatsupcocks 
ha ha good one mate
By AussieMan187 at 16,Mar,20 03:47 other posts of AussieMan187 


By bigg at 16,Mar,20 16:15 other posts of bigg 
My bunghole it goes rakakaka rakakatokotoko uuaaa!!! And then sometimes my bunghole goes raawakakakabuaa bhhhuuuaua
By AussieMan187 at 17,Mar,20 04:21 other posts of AussieMan187 
Mine does that after I eat a spicy burrito.





By phart at 11,Mar,20 23:20 other posts of phart 
AH! I got it, you go right on ahead and buy ALL that toilet paper.

I will buy all the plungers and retire to the Islands smoking big cigars!
By AussieMan187 at 16,Mar,20 03:50 other posts of AussieMan187 
That sounds good, i'll join you!

By licksipsuckit at 16,Mar,20 17:49 other posts of licksipsuckit 
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buy toile roll holders, this is one way to get those plungers flying off the shelf *lix*



By licksipsuckit at 16,Mar,20 17:48 other posts of licksipsuckit 
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and l didn't forget you rice lovers *lix*


By licksipsuckit at 16,Mar,20 17:23 other posts of licksipsuckit 
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now l haven't forgotten you pasta hoarders, theres something for everyone, heres some fun things to make with it. if you got a good variety of course. you make just about anything !!!
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By licksipsuckit at 16,Mar,20 17:19 other posts of licksipsuckit 
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now is you don't want to lose any down the dunny, this little twig hanger is just for you, stops them getting wet, can be used straight off the wall, and when is finished, you can use is as fire starters for the end of world. to get them fires of hell burning that little bit brighter *lix*


By licksipsuckit at 16,Mar,20 17:17 other posts of licksipsuckit 
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heres some wall art, for the dunny wall, to make it handier and if they accidently fall into the toilet during an earth quake or volcano eruption, don't try to save them. *Lix*


By licksipsuckit at 16,Mar,20 17:16 other posts of licksipsuckit 
ok, since you all need some new ideas with what to do with all this shit house paper you have acquired, here are some things to do with it while your locked in your homes panicking about dying from the flu and becoming more and more like henny penny every day.... heres a nice ensemble with lots of air and if you go commando, you can wipe your arse quicker with it ... just don't wear in the rain
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By whatsupcocks at 15,Mar,20 21:40 other posts of whatsupcocks 
ya now everyone wants a peace of the square . someone is getting rich .
By AussieMan187 at 16,Mar,20 03:48 other posts of AussieMan187 
They'll probably put the price of toilet paper up to make more profit!



By phart at 12,Mar,20 19:27 other posts of phart 
yep,local walmarts out of jug water,toilet paper and such.
Alot of folks here on wells have bad water.Ok to wash clothes and such but not good for cooking or drinking so they use jug spring water or drinking water.
OUT ,gone.My dad said the parking lot was slam full.
empty shelves. I am planning a trip in the morning to get a few things.I have already got some can soup,pasta stuff and what not to get by a week or so without a trip to town.
By AussieMan187 at 13,Mar,20 00:24 other posts of AussieMan187 
I think I wanna camp out in the bush for a few weeks & wipe with some bark, just to get away from the TV that keeps on with the "URGENT" announcements every 5 minutes.
By whatsupcocks at 15,Mar,20 21:43 other posts of whatsupcocks 
yep hit the bush for a break from the main stream .
By AussieMan187 at 16,Mar,20 03:46 other posts of AussieMan187 
Yeah bro, go off grid, hey!



By licksipsuckit at 13,Mar,20 03:47 other posts of licksipsuckit 
l reckon we could eat out of the cupboard for a month without even shopping for extra. who eats that much rice or pasta??? lm sure ld have enough in the freezer too, l didn't shop for 3 weeks till today. strangely l still don't need toilet paper. the shop was only putting one packet on the shelf every 10 minutes or so, and people who really needed it, stayed for a pack, but those that are camped on a stock pile didn't bother l guess. *lix*



By kebmo at 10,Mar,20 02:03 other posts of kebmo 
Why are people buying toilet paper?

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By phart at 10,Mar,20 21:14 other posts of phart 
If you have a septic tank like I do,you can't use paper towels and large bulky stuff,it will clog up everything.
Folks on city sewer can all but flush anything down the drain if it can get past their own pipes.
By ANGEL1227 at 11,Mar,20 13:25 other posts of ANGEL1227 
You can have a trash container with a lid and throw whatever you use to wipe in to the container. No more problems
By AussieMan187 at 12,Mar,20 03:27 other posts of AussieMan187 
Just use your hand & then rinse under a tap. That will save some money.
By Scorps at 12,Mar,20 04:04 other posts of Scorps 
ROFLMAO 😄😆🤣😂
By AussieMan187 at 13,Mar,20 00:26 other posts of AussieMan187 





By AussieMan187 at 11,Mar,20 03:51 other posts of AussieMan187 
People believe everything they see on the news & they make it look like an emergency, tell people not to panic, but make it look urgent to scare people.
By kebmo at 11,Mar,20 05:00 other posts of kebmo 
Donít panic AM!!!
By AussieMan187 at 11,Mar,20 07:16 other posts of AussieMan187 
I'm cool as a cucumber, kebmo
By ANGEL1227 at 11,Mar,20 13:31 other posts of ANGEL1227 
Better change from cucumbers to hot buttered corn. Great for anal, tasty snack food and great for wiping in the outhouse.
By AussieMan187 at 12,Mar,20 03:26 other posts of AussieMan187 
I would not recommend using said corn cobs in that order, though
By ANGEL1227 at 12,Mar,20 08:23 other posts of ANGEL1227 

Party pooper








By cody8789 at 12,Mar,20 11:38 other posts of cody8789 
It's happening here in the Miami area as of yesterday, you can't find toilet paper anywhere
By AussieMan187 at 12,Mar,20 16:03 other posts of AussieMan187 
Use your hand.



By AussieMan187 at 07,Mar,20 16:22 other posts of AussieMan187 
I'm going to start wearing one of these masks, so I don't inhale the miasma.

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By geranium at 12,Mar,20 03:50 other posts of geranium 



By licksipsuckit at 11,Mar,20 16:53 other posts of licksipsuckit 
now these dick heads that bought a room full of shit house paper and hand sanitizer, are trying to take it back for refunds, seems they forgot to buy food with their money and now the major chains are turning them away, they will not refund money on excessive over buying of toilet paper, face tissues, serviettes, hand sanitizer, nappy wipes, rice, pasta, (which none of these dickheads even ate) bread mix and flour?? well l guess if they did get locked in their homes, they'd have all the ingredients to make a paper mache effigy of the viris, and few pasta necklaces to use while they sit around the toilet paper camp fire and sing Kum-by-ya while eating bowls of rice... what a pack of wankas .. lets lead these people to a great abyss and tell them all to jump !!! *Lix*


By licksipsuckit at 09,Mar,20 22:08 other posts of licksipsuckit 
to see people lined up in the aisles waiting for a block of paper, this is ridiculous, and even more ridiculous, is when they punch on over one pack, when they have a trolley full of them and cant share a pack with a person who actually NEEDS SOME.. lm actually glad that they charged the women brawling over it. to show them how stupid they are, and l bet the following day they are back to get more... l think the tissue makers should put a 3 month use by date on the packs, as these stupid people would be stupid enough to throw it away if they were told too. during this whole crisis l have been amazed at how stupid the human race has become, that they take every thing they read or see on the net as gospel and follow these trends so fast that it makes my head spin. l am still blown away by the stream of people who all marched out of the shops with paper under arm, and after putting it in the car, come back for more ????? maybe we should be taught again how to wipe our arses, without killing 3 trees to do so. maybe our grand parents had some great info, especially the one about too much wiping gives you piles. do it right the first time and you don't need half a roll to get the job done... *Lix*


By phart at 07,Mar,20 09:25 other posts of phart 
Well the local walmarts had plenty of bathroom printer paper refills but the household cleaners isle,anything to do with Lysol ,the shelves were about bare.
By AussieMan187 at 07,Mar,20 16:26 other posts of AussieMan187 
It's madness. It's like everyone has contracted rabies or something, because everyone is turning into animals. I'd say they're almost like monkeys throwing shit at each other, but monkeys don't need that much toilet paper



By 1RonG at 07,Mar,20 13:02 other posts of 1RonG 
UK is just as bad too. Major retailers are rationing hand sanitizer too lol. Shame all the experts just say wash your hands for 20 seconds with normal soap.
I'm not sure why people want so much toilet roll? It's not as if it gives you the shits!

Also why we are at it , why is the media making such a deal that of it, at present is no worse than flu ! Aren't we just teaching our kids how to be petrified of a virus? Personally I'm going use the old British mantra .....Keep calm and Carry on!
By AussieMan187 at 07,Mar,20 16:24 other posts of AussieMan187 
I've been going about my life as normal. I'm not shitting more than usual. I just watched on the news people punching on in the aisles over packs of toilet paper. I think everyone is infected with the TP virus



By aoneeyedmonster at 04,Mar,20 22:42 other posts of aoneeyedmonster 
What did all the prisoners use when England dropped them off many years ago?
By AussieMan187 at 05,Mar,20 00:09 other posts of AussieMan187 
Koalas
By kebmo at 07,Mar,20 04:23 other posts of kebmo 
Koalas... so soft and absorbent.... and reusable!!! 👍
By AussieMan187 at 07,Mar,20 05:25 other posts of AussieMan187 
They are soft. Sometimes they bite & scratch, but you make do





By bigg at 06,Mar,20 16:53 other posts of bigg 
Same here in Germany, went to the local supermarket last Saturday and saw shopping carts stacked up with bog-roll. Shelves empty. Well, when the Corona hits, it must be reassuring to know that people can wipe their bum
By AussieMan187 at 07,Mar,20 02:39 other posts of AussieMan187 
Makes me think that the world is going to smell like shit soon. Humans are going to take out half the amazon to replace all of the toilet paper that's been snapped up



By aries at 06,Mar,20 02:35 other posts of aries 
well the people who need that much paper are full of shit
By AussieMan187 at 06,Mar,20 04:14 other posts of AussieMan187 
Maybe they're gonna wrap their dead like mummies



By dura2000 at 06,Mar,20 04:09 other posts of dura2000 
Fools.
By AussieMan187 at 06,Mar,20 04:14 other posts of AussieMan187 



By ANGEL1227 at 04,Mar,20 19:17 other posts of ANGEL1227 
Amateurs. Newspaper crushed into ball works better
By AussieMan187 at 05,Mar,20 00:13 other posts of AussieMan187 
Oh yeah you've got to scrunch it up to soften it up a bit
By Ted-E-Bare at 05,Mar,20 16:38 other posts of Ted-E-Bare 
How are your bogs in Oz and the USA for taking newspaper . Here in the UK if we put anything other than shit paper down there where sure to get our own back so to say .
By AussieMan187 at 05,Mar,20 19:32 other posts of AussieMan187 
I try not to use newspaper if I can help it. But if there's a problem you just stuff the paper down the S-bend with your foot





By kebmo at 05,Mar,20 01:37 other posts of kebmo 
Same here in Canada. Costco customers all leave with a 450 pack or what ever the Costco size is. No women live in my house so my 7 rolls will be good.
By AussieMan187 at 05,Mar,20 06:21 other posts of AussieMan187 
People are nuts. From what I understand this virus is only deadly to the very sick & elderly. People don't stock on toilet paper like this when flu season comes along. Perhaps everyone that uses facebook saw some clickbait post that said it's the apocalypse or something.



By phart at 04,Mar,20 22:38 other posts of phart 
Um,I guess I need to go get some to as I am down to 3 rolls. That stuff don't last long around here

I can kinda understand the peoples theory.
If you can't clean up after you shit,you soon need a bath.
And if you go shit in the woods, you have to have some paper.DON'T wipe with some random leaves you find nearby while squated.Poison oak will cause your whole ass to break out! And Don't shit on a yellow jacket nest! A coworker found that out. Was out of work for a week or more. I forgot how many stings he got but it was bad.
By AussieMan187 at 05,Mar,20 00:10 other posts of AussieMan187 
We don't have to worry about poison oak here, just getting bitten on the arse by a snake or something But we all need to wipe with something & paper that was made for that purpose is better than a handful of leaves. But I didn't expect everyone to go ape shit over this corona virus thing.



By oldacock at 04,Mar,20 22:19 other posts of oldacock 
This is all a load of excrement!


By kopdude at 04,Mar,20 21:31 other posts of kopdude 
Wow, unbelievable!





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