THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN TOILET PAPER CRISIS!

By #551482 at 12,Mar,20 21:31

Clearly an outbreak of Cornholio-itis. The great Cornholio needs TP for his bung-hole. Will there be TP in the lobby?

By #502711 at 13,Mar,20 04:21

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My bunghole cannot wait!

By whatsupcocks at 16,Mar,20 01:47 other posts of whatsupcocks

ha ha good one mate

By #502711 at 16,Mar,20 07:47

By #551482 at 16,Mar,20 20:15

My bunghole it goes rakakaka rakakatokotoko uuaaa!!! And then sometimes my bunghole goes raawakakakabuaa bhhhuuuaua

By #502711 at 17,Mar,20 08:21

Mine does that after I eat a spicy burrito.

By phart at 12,Mar,20 03:20 other posts of phart

AH! I got it, you go right on ahead and buy ALL that toilet paper.

I will buy all the plungers and retire to the Islands smoking big cigars!

By #502711 at 16,Mar,20 07:50

That sounds good, i'll join you!

By #485312 at 16,Mar,20 21:49

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buy toile roll holders, this is one way to get those plungers flying off the shelf *lix*

By #485312 at 16,Mar,20 21:48

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and l didn't forget you rice lovers *lix*

By #485312 at 16,Mar,20 21:23

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now l haven't forgotten you pasta hoarders, theres something for everyone, heres some fun things to make with it. if you got a good variety of course. you make just about anything !!!
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By #485312 at 16,Mar,20 21:19

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now is you don't want to lose any down the dunny, this little twig hanger is just for you, stops them getting wet, can be used straight off the wall, and when is finished, you can use is as fire starters for the end of world. to get them fires of hell burning that little bit brighter *lix*

By #485312 at 16,Mar,20 21:17

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heres some wall art, for the dunny wall, to make it handier and if they accidently fall into the toilet during an earth quake or volcano eruption, don't try to save them. *Lix*

By #485312 at 16,Mar,20 21:16

ok, since you all need some new ideas with what to do with all this shit house paper you have acquired, here are some things to do with it while your locked in your homes panicking about dying from the flu and becoming more and more like henny penny every day.... heres a nice ensemble with lots of air and if you go commando, you can wipe your arse quicker with it ... just don't wear in the rain
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By whatsupcocks at 16,Mar,20 01:40 other posts of whatsupcocks

ya now everyone wants a peace of the square . someone is getting rich .

By #502711 at 16,Mar,20 07:48

They'll probably put the price of toilet paper up to make more profit!

By phart at 12,Mar,20 23:27 other posts of phart

yep,local walmarts out of jug water,toilet paper and such.
Alot of folks here on wells have bad water.Ok to wash clothes and such but not good for cooking or drinking so they use jug spring water or drinking water.
OUT ,gone.My dad said the parking lot was slam full.
empty shelves. I am planning a trip in the morning to get a few things.I have already got some can soup,pasta stuff and what not to get by a week or so without a trip to town.

By #502711 at 13,Mar,20 04:24

I think I wanna camp out in the bush for a few weeks & wipe with some bark, just to get away from the TV that keeps on with the "URGENT" announcements every 5 minutes.

By whatsupcocks at 16,Mar,20 01:43 other posts of whatsupcocks

yep hit the bush for a break from the main stream .

By #502711 at 16,Mar,20 07:46

Yeah bro, go off grid, hey!

By #485312 at 13,Mar,20 07:47

l reckon we could eat out of the cupboard for a month without even shopping for extra. who eats that much rice or pasta??? lm sure ld have enough in the freezer too, l didn't shop for 3 weeks till today. strangely l still don't need toilet paper. the shop was only putting one packet on the shelf every 10 minutes or so, and people who really needed it, stayed for a pack, but those that are camped on a stock pile didn't bother l guess. *lix*

By kebmo at 10,Mar,20 06:03 other posts of kebmo

Why are people buying toilet paper?

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By phart at 11,Mar,20 01:14 other posts of phart

If you have a septic tank like I do,you can't use paper towels and large bulky stuff,it will clog up everything.
Folks on city sewer can all but flush anything down the drain if it can get past their own pipes.

By CAT-2 at 11,Mar,20 17:25 other posts of CAT-2

You can have a trash container with a lid and throw whatever you use to wipe in to the container. No more problems

By #502711 at 12,Mar,20 07:27

Just use your hand & then rinse under a tap. That will save some money.

By #551147 at 12,Mar,20 08:04

ROFLMAO 😄😆🤣😂

By #502711 at 13,Mar,20 04:26

By #502711 at 11,Mar,20 07:51

People believe everything they see on the news & they make it look like an emergency, tell people not to panic, but make it look urgent to scare people.

By kebmo at 11,Mar,20 09:00 other posts of kebmo

Don’t panic AM!!!

By #502711 at 11,Mar,20 11:16

I'm cool as a cucumber, kebmo

By CAT-2 at 11,Mar,20 17:31 other posts of CAT-2

Better change from cucumbers to hot buttered corn. Great for anal, tasty snack food and great for wiping in the outhouse.

By #502711 at 12,Mar,20 07:26

I would not recommend using said corn cobs in that order, though

By CAT-2 at 12,Mar,20 12:23 other posts of CAT-2

Party pooper

By #275407 at 12,Mar,20 15:38

It's happening here in the Miami area as of yesterday, you can't find toilet paper anywhere

By #502711 at 12,Mar,20 20:03

Use your hand.

By #502711 at 07,Mar,20 21:22

I'm going to start wearing one of these masks, so I don't inhale the miasma.

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By geranium at 12,Mar,20 07:50 other posts of geranium

By #485312 at 11,Mar,20 20:53

now these dick heads that bought a room full of shit house paper and hand sanitizer, are trying to take it back for refunds, seems they forgot to buy food with their money and now the major chains are turning them away, they will not refund money on excessive over buying of toilet paper, face tissues, serviettes, hand sanitizer, nappy wipes, rice, pasta, (which none of these dickheads even ate) bread mix and flour?? well l guess if they did get locked in their homes, they'd have all the ingredients to make a paper mache effigy of the viris, and few pasta necklaces to use while they sit around the toilet paper camp fire and sing Kum-by-ya while eating bowls of rice... what a pack of wankas .. lets lead these people to a great abyss and tell them all to jump !!! *Lix*

By #485312 at 10,Mar,20 02:08

to see people lined up in the aisles waiting for a block of paper, this is ridiculous, and even more ridiculous, is when they punch on over one pack, when they have a trolley full of them and cant share a pack with a person who actually NEEDS SOME.. lm actually glad that they charged the women brawling over it. to show them how stupid they are, and l bet the following day they are back to get more... l think the tissue makers should put a 3 month use by date on the packs, as these stupid people would be stupid enough to throw it away if they were told too. during this whole crisis l have been amazed at how stupid the human race has become, that they take every thing they read or see on the net as gospel and follow these trends so fast that it makes my head spin. l am still blown away by the stream of people who all marched out of the shops with paper under arm, and after putting it in the car, come back for more ????? maybe we should be taught again how to wipe our arses, without killing 3 trees to do so. maybe our grand parents had some great info, especially the one about too much wiping gives you piles. do it right the first time and you don't need half a roll to get the job done... *Lix*

By phart at 07,Mar,20 14:25 other posts of phart

Well the local walmarts had plenty of bathroom printer paper refills but the household cleaners isle,anything to do with Lysol ,the shelves were about bare.

By #502711 at 07,Mar,20 21:26

It's madness. It's like everyone has contracted rabies or something, because everyone is turning into animals. I'd say they're almost like monkeys throwing shit at each other, but monkeys don't need that much toilet paper

By #580336 at 07,Mar,20 18:02

UK is just as bad too. Major retailers are rationing hand sanitizer too lol. Shame all the experts just say wash your hands for 20 seconds with normal soap.
I'm not sure why people want so much toilet roll? It's not as if it gives you the shits!

Also why we are at it , why is the media making such a deal that of it, at present is no worse than flu ! Aren't we just teaching our kids how to be petrified of a virus? Personally I'm going use the old British mantra .....Keep calm and Carry on!

By #502711 at 07,Mar,20 21:24

I've been going about my life as normal. I'm not shitting more than usual. I just watched on the news people punching on in the aisles over packs of toilet paper. I think everyone is infected with the TP virus

By DeepThroatThis at 05,Mar,20 03:42 other posts of DeepThroatThis

What did all the prisoners use when England dropped them off many years ago?

By #502711 at 05,Mar,20 05:09

Koalas

By kebmo at 07,Mar,20 09:23 other posts of kebmo

Koalas... so soft and absorbent.... and reusable!!! 👍

By #502711 at 07,Mar,20 10:25

They are soft. Sometimes they bite & scratch, but you make do

By #551482 at 06,Mar,20 21:53

Same here in Germany, went to the local supermarket last Saturday and saw shopping carts stacked up with bog-roll. Shelves empty. Well, when the Corona hits, it must be reassuring to know that people can wipe their bum

By #502711 at 07,Mar,20 07:39

Makes me think that the world is going to smell like shit soon. Humans are going to take out half the amazon to replace all of the toilet paper that's been snapped up

By aries at 06,Mar,20 07:35 other posts of aries

well the people who need that much paper are full of shit

By #502711 at 06,Mar,20 09:14

Maybe they're gonna wrap their dead like mummies

By dura2000 at 06,Mar,20 09:09 other posts of dura2000

Fools.

By #502711 at 06,Mar,20 09:14

By CAT-2 at 05,Mar,20 00:17 other posts of CAT-2

Amateurs. Newspaper crushed into ball works better

By #502711 at 05,Mar,20 05:13

Oh yeah you've got to scrunch it up to soften it up a bit

By #608173 at 05,Mar,20 21:38

How are your bogs in Oz and the USA for taking newspaper . Here in the UK if we put anything other than shit paper down there where sure to get our own back so to say .

By #502711 at 06,Mar,20 00:32

I try not to use newspaper if I can help it. But if there's a problem you just stuff the paper down the S-bend with your foot

By kebmo at 05,Mar,20 06:37 other posts of kebmo

Same here in Canada. Costco customers all leave with a 450 pack or what ever the Costco size is. No women live in my house so my 7 rolls will be good.

By #502711 at 05,Mar,20 11:21

People are nuts. From what I understand this virus is only deadly to the very sick & elderly. People don't stock on toilet paper like this when flu season comes along. Perhaps everyone that uses facebook saw some clickbait post that said it's the apocalypse or something.

By phart at 05,Mar,20 03:38 other posts of phart

Um,I guess I need to go get some to as I am down to 3 rolls. That stuff don't last long around here

I can kinda understand the peoples theory.
If you can't clean up after you shit,you soon need a bath.
And if you go shit in the woods, you have to have some paper.DON'T wipe with some random leaves you find nearby while squated.Poison oak will cause your whole ass to break out! And Don't shit on a yellow jacket nest! A coworker found that out. Was out of work for a week or more. I forgot how many stings he got but it was bad.

By #502711 at 05,Mar,20 05:10

We don't have to worry about poison oak here, just getting bitten on the arse by a snake or something

But we all need to wipe with something & paper that was made for that purpose is better than a handful of leaves. But I didn't expect everyone to go ape shit over this corona virus thing.

By oldacock at 05,Mar,20 03:19 other posts of oldacock

This is all a load of excrement!

By kopdude at 05,Mar,20 02:31 other posts of kopdude

Wow, unbelievable!

THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN TOILET PAPER CRISIS!

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