I want my best friend!!!

By #131063 at 28,Aug,11 00:33

Let us hope he comes back and fills us in on what he decided and what the outcome was. I pray the outcome is good and right, and not a lustful mistake that begins the regrettable unraveling of a good thing.

By #68656 at 27,Aug,11 10:59

Let us trust that Andrew took our advice before he deleted his account and does not destroy or tarnish his friendship with Nolan over some lustful activity.

By spermkiss at 27,Aug,11 16:06 other posts of spermkiss

Yes, let us hope that. As you pointed out so accurately back on August 25, friends are far more valuable than sex partners. But lust happens and sex happens and when the circumstances are right, sex between buddies can add a lot of meaning and an extra dimension to a friendship, even when one or both of them are straight. I know this from personal experience.

By spermkiss at 27,Aug,11 06:32 other posts of spermkiss

Dear Andrew,

You're in a very delicate situation and I've been there myself. When I was your age I had a major crush on my straight best friend. I was out to him as being gay and I was quite frank with him about my feelings for him. I think it gave him a boost knowing my feelings. We did a certain amount of innocent touching (embracing, hand holding, etc.) but we never had sex. His whole family was really kind of touchy/feely so that may have been why he was comfortable touching me.

Since then I've had several straight friends and with most, but not all, we eventually ended up having sex. In no case did it spoil our friendship. Indeed, it brought us closer together, but PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Others have given you very good advice that if you do anything wrong it very might spoil your friendship. Furthermore, friends are more valuable than sex partners and I couldn't agree more.

Now, what to do? First of all, come out to him. If he's the good friend you think he is, that won't bother him at all. In fact, he probably already knows, or has a good idea. You said he thinks you're straight and he hasn't picked up on your hints because he's "not the sharpest tool in the shed", but more likely he just doesn't know what to say. So you say it for him. But do NOT apologize or act ashamed about being bi. This is what you are and let him know that you're comfortable with it. Odds are, he will be too.

That's all you should do for a while. Do not come on to him or even tell him that you think he's hot (although he'll probably have a good idea that you do). After some time has passed and you're both comfortable with him knowing you're bi you can start making comments about other cute guys you might see. So he can really see that you are turned on to other men.

The next step is to let him know that you find him attractive. But this is all you should do. Again, DO NOT COME ON TO HIM. If you do, you will probably frighten him off and sex will never happen. If sex is going to happen, he will have to initiate it. This could take weeks or months and it may never happen. But it did happen with me with most of my straight friends. Let's hope it happens for you.

Regards, spermkiss

By #181935 at 26,Aug,11 02:43

I would recommend nest time u see him while he's staying with u or ur staying with him start jerking off and just see what he does !

By #131063 at 26,Aug,11 22:00

Bad advice. Andrew, don't listen to this.

7inches might not have a problem with potentially losing his friends, but I think you value your friendship with Nolan a little bit more. It astounds me how many guys don't understand the premise of friendship, masculine respect and doing justice to the male gender.

DUDE! 7inches...You must not have had any decent role models. If you think this way when you are 18, I hate to think of the disrespect you'll show your buddies when you're 28, 38, 48...

By pifad at 25,Aug,11 17:01 other posts of pifad

I agree 100% with JohnS. Lost a real good friend by doing just this thing. It isn't worth it, Andrew.

By #131063 at 25,Aug,11 22:56

I too lost a good friend by overstepping the boundaries and not allowing a natural progression of our friendship. I have no doubt, as a result of my studies and experience referred to in my other post, that had I been patient and simply a good friend, things would have been different. I would have been grateful for not losing the friendship. What I gained however, was discovering the site I referred to in my other post (g0ys[dot]org). Without the priceless advice there and the counsel of my peers in our various discussion groups, I would still be lost on a dark path of hook-ups, dangerous anonymous sex and un-fulfilling acquaintances. Things happen for a reason, I guess.

Patrick

By #131063 at 25,Aug,11 22:49

Hi Andrew,
I agree with John. Friendship First. I can understand the desire; the truth is, up to 60%+ of guys have varied feelings of affection towards their buddies. So there is a 2 out of 3 chance Nolan shares some of your attraction. He obviously feels something for you, because you are good friends. BUT, going from friends to jack-buddies in such a quick manner is unwise. This doesn't mean your friendship can't be ramped up ~over time~. Because this site will not allow me to post the actual link I urge you to Google: g0ydar (spelled g-zero-y-d-a-r).
I can also direct you to discussion forums more appropriate to guiding guys like yourself that desire to grow their friendships with their buddies to a more intimate level. I and my bros have been sharing our advice with men for over 7 years. We know what works. If you wish to correspond more, you may contact me at any time. Best wishes.
Patrick

I want my best friend!!!

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