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Started by #146804 at 21,Jul,13 17:21
The time has come for to leave. I haven't been on for a while as things have happened that I never thought would.


It is no se,cret that I enjoyed anal sex - but few knew to what extent. At work I would have a plug in my bum and I would cry and beg for the Mr to have anal with me every minute he wasn't working. It came to the point that having anything in my bottom hurt terribly yet still I couldn't stop. The Mr eventually refused and begged me to go to a doctor yet I didn't. He left, he tried to help yet I pushed him away, if he wouldn't give me anal I didn't want him. I got into large insertions, mostly coke and pepsi bottles. Nothing was too big, the pain became addictive.


Eventually I was hospitalised with a major infection. During my time in hospital, unable to succumb to my terrible fantasies: I found God. I have no idea why he would speak out to someone who had drifted so far or how I had ever wandered to far from him in the first place but it happened. And thus I'm saying my goodbyes. I do not know if the Mr is still on here under a different name but if he is: the time we had will always be precious, I'm sorry for what I became and thank you. Thank you so much.


Good bye to all my friends here. I will keep my account open for a while for you to contact me. It has been a strange journey. It is not one of shame, but it is at a close and I must go now to a life with God, and it is looking ever so bright and beautiful.



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New Comment

Comments:
By #400850 at 21,Jul,13 22:12
Greatest breakthrough ever... We may not get acquainted but it sure is the greatest thing ever.. To have acknowledge His presence even in the most dire situation.. Ciao..
By bigone21 at 21,Jul,13 22:30 other posts of bigone21 
where was "his presence" when strawhat needed it badly for he was hurting himself??

there is no god, there is only pain and some luck..!
By #400850 at 21,Jul,13 23:19
You probably had ur share of pains. Don't u worry ul have ur time to finally acknowledge His existence, and to prove such a reality is pointless though. U just have to believe bec nothing is random..
By bigone21 at 22,Jul,13 20:32 other posts of bigone21 
i have better things to do, and better things to hope for, than waiting for "his existence"!

as an atheпst, i believe there is NO god. for if there were a god, he would care about the loosers, drop-outs, hungry, sick, poor, dieing, the c h i l d r e n living in wars that don't seem to EVER stop...

if there is an almighty god, he is the meanest fucker you can think of!

@Peeweedick: i will NEVER acknowledge the existence of this motherfucker that lets little c h i l d r e n die hungry, thirsty, or by v i o l a n c e.
By #400850 at 23,Jul,13 02:56
Well, it doesn't work the way you might perceive God should move pleasing everyone else!!
A battery has a (+) and (-) terminal, to be able to function well, even a magnet has its opposite polarity to maintain harmony, say two magnets having the same polarity are joined together, there will always be a repelling **** that governs the two objects. What I'm saying is that it is a fact that there is a reality that dictates why there must be opposite however it might be represented to any objects to maintain balance otherwise.
God in His infinite unfathomable ways cannot be comprehended by anyone not unless He was chosen to by God Himself. I am nothing though, but it is a reality that you and I cannot dismiss, that the universe and this planet per se did not just evolve on its own but was designed and created by a superbeing who was fondly called God.
Besides, all the things we see is but temporal and what truly is permanent is yet to be revealed. This earth is just a testing ground though, everyone is given opportunity to look up into Him and share His true glory wherein absolute and ideal world exists or you may continue to reject as you wish though..
By bigone21 at 23,Jul,13 19:09 other posts of bigone21 
what a load of crap! around the world there are several religions claiming to know what "god" is, what he wants, and how to serve him. they kill eachother for being right, and others being wrong!

please stop this reverent stuff, because i told you: i'm an atheist!

you don't comprehend and call it: GOD... i'm just perfectly happy NOT comprehending!

please STOP being so presumptuous. you think a prayer will help you, the next person thinks a rain-dance will make it rain, and i think it's all superstitious bullshit! understand?
By #400850 at 25,Jul,13 01:25
Crystal.. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, to believe what they perceived right and truthful..
Just a thought..
How do we know joy and happiness if we do not know what grief and sadness were
How do we know comfort and security if we did not somehow run through the experience of wanting and even aggression
Fact was opposite sides represent reality, to be able to appreciate the beauty of something, it is essential to also acknowledge that there is an ugly side that goes along with it.
Likewise, good differs from evil and can be seen and appreciated in this lifetime. The difference though, it is very comforting believing that you were not alone in your difficulties rather than being alone and having your light fading out to oblivion..
By #11431 at 28,Jul,13 15:30
this is sort of illogical rubbish that promotes ignorant adherence to fairy tales .. OK tell me : as a parent is the best way to teach your **** that not being burnt is good by sticking his hand in a fire to show that being burnt hurts ?
By #400850 at 29,Jul,13 00:23
Didn't mean to rebut ur belief.. just like the rest, u are entitled to stick to ur perceived thoughts of norms.. Just like to share something i red from an article..quote:

Look out a window.

Here is a story used by a rabbi.

A king goes to visit a rabbi and tells him he doubts the existance of a Creator of the Universe. He told the rabbi everything just happened, the entire universe is a huge coincidence with no purpose, just the result of luck and many throws of the dice.
He asks the rabbi to prove the universe was created by a intelligent design.

The rabbi says to plerase open up the window, and then that the king unscrews the top of the ink bottle but leave it on there, with the feather quill pen next to it.

He asks him to put a clean piece of paper next to it.

the king complies and leaves, told to reeturn the next afternoon and his answer will be explained.

Next day the atheist king returns, and sees the most beautifully caligraphed poem written on that piece of paper and the rest of the ink spilling onto the floor.

"what a beautifully caligraphed poem, what a nice rhyme, who wrote this?" the king asks the rabbi.

"No one. I forgot to close the window last night. A cat or a bird or a rat must have climbed or flown in and knocked over the bottle of ink.

No, the kings insists, Someone wrote it. did you write it?

;The rabbi shakes his head, and says, "its just a coincidence that the ink spelled into words, and which rhyme and make sense.

the king laughs, but the rabbi is serious.

"No, someone had to write that poem."

"Its just a piece of paper with spilled ink. One little coincidence, compared to the hills and trees and clouds and mountains you see out of this window," explained the rabbi.

Albert Einstein said, "God does not play dice with the universe.'
By #11431 at 29,Jul,13 14:57
Einstein was an atheist but believed that the universe is wholly predictable through physical laws, whereas Quantum mechanics ( which he initially disagreed with ) suggested that some areas of prediction could be a matter of chance. His use of the term god ( and note he always used a small 'g' ) was only an expression of his belief in a constant steady law and is not a reference to any actual being .





By #11431 at 28,Jul,13 15:26
Maybe he cant be fathomed ... but as many will say , who wants to fathom the purpose in a being that is indifferent to suffering , yet supposedly posseses the power to stop it ? Spouting a load of pseudo scientific bs does not prove the existence if god. If he leaves us to our devices and allows us to do what the heck we want, then we dont really need him do we ? If God stands by while the innocent suffer , how is he any different from that other figment of mans desoperate imagination .. the devil ? Both beings were created by man as a means for rulers to control the population by a series of carrot and stick promises . Look at the death and destruction caused by religions of all types and the greed , power and acquisitiveness of most of them . And if stuff is yet to be revealed then hells bells its taking a long time to reveal it ... at least 10,000 years !
By #354961 at 29,Jul,13 00:31
You know what, I agree with you.
But would add just a little thing what I noticed: they are talking to him but he do not talk to anyone. And if he does ... just remember what he told to our former president ...
See, another proof you're right!
By #11431 at 16,Sep,13 09:39
ha , good point !




By #102374 at 23,Jul,13 03:28
HE loves all people. The only ones that let anyone not just **** die from hunger, disease, or anything else is us as humans. God would help if we asked but people quit asking.
By bigone21 at 23,Jul,13 19:22 other posts of bigone21 
god is always the only absentee when human catastrophies are going on!! from the holocaust to the hutsies and the tutsies, the balkan war until all that i didn't mention and cost millions of people, men, women, childrens lives, he's never there! he is doing his siesta, or doesn't even care!

you blame the people that died in war that they quit asking??? i'm sure they prayed: please lord, save me and my family..! but the lord was deaf or had other things to do... like telling the pope that condoms were not a good idea, better to let the young african population die of aids, and their c h i l d r e n be orphans!

this god, IF he is ALMIGHTY, is NOT ANY better than Joseph Mengele!
By #170523 at 26,Jul,13 00:03
You are an atheist and that is fine, you seem to have a hatred towards "God" and that is Ok also(some atheists don't believe in a god and don't care that others do). I do see you have stated your opinion but please don't interject your opinion onto others that are not engaging you but trying to respond only to the original poster.
By #23212 at 28,Jul,13 01:48
It seems quite clear that 'peeweedick' is NOT "trying to respond only to the original poster". This tagalog idiot posts this same 'black list' item all over the Forum, and has been banned by many members.



By #11431 at 29,Jul,13 10:05
so did he love Adolf Hitler , Stalin & Pol Pot to name just 3 ?




By #4222 at 27,Jul,13 22:41
I'd have to diagree with you there Biggie. There's always an element of seeking required on the part of the human to find the bigger presence out there. Trust me, Straw became a very motivated seeker, and became a blessed finder.
By bigone21 at 27,Jul,13 23:05 other posts of bigone21 
please... I don't seek to find the bigger precence"!!

can you godfearing people please shut-up about that when talking to me??!

some people (like me) don't WANT to seek for something religious! because it's NOT RATIONAL and it starts WARS!!

racism, and it's victims, are just a tiny joke next to religious feuds! hallelujah!!





By bigone21 at 21,Jul,13 22:17 other posts of bigone21 
please note that this story is NOT about the dangers of anal sex IN GENERAL, it's about the dangers of walking around with pepsi-bottles up the ass all day, and being stupid about what CAN and what CANNOT be taken up there! RIP
By #23212 at 21,Jul,13 22:38
This story is also about those people with so-called 'addictive personalities'.

By #259367 at 25,Jul,13 18:04
You sound angry, bigone
By bigone21 at 25,Jul,13 22:26 other posts of bigone21 
angry, that's not the word...

fed up with with irrational theories and beliefs, that's more like it!

even on this LIBERTARIAN (showyourdick/cunt) website, people post messages and threads in this forum like it's the forum of some church permitting to talk about sexuality.

so, if i see this thread about: "oh my god, i was into anal, and now i'm gonna die, but jezus just saved me", well, at that moment i have to take a piss! on the spot! right!




By CreativeOne at 23,Jul,13 07:52 other posts of CreativeOne 
You will Always be missed , but know this .... you can Always come back to the family you have made here ! Remember this too ... Nudity , is not a sin ! So we all hope you stay ... or if you do leave that it will be a short leave and that you do come back soon !


By #263974 at 22,Jul,13 15:41
I wish you all the best in your life, straw, and I thank you for your friendship. I'll be missing you and Mr Straw. He was such a nice and kind guy and a very good and dear friend to me for a long time. I hope you both will be happy always.


By WristThick at 22,Jul,13 04:57 other posts of WristThick 
Damn. Never heard a story like this one before.

Best of luck to you!


By bigguy at 22,Jul,13 01:09 other posts of bigguy 
I never got to know you but I can see now it's my loss. I wish all the best for you and I truely hope your medical problems can be taken care of quickly.


By #68656 at 21,Jul,13 17:47
Wishing you all the best for the future and please keep in touch if you wish to do so.
We do not find God, he finds us.
By bigone21 at 21,Jul,13 23:07 other posts of bigone21 
...if he at randomly wishes to...



By #411169 at 21,Jul,13 20:54
good bye straw hat i wish i would have got to know you
By bigone21 at 21,Jul,13 23:05 other posts of bigone21 
strawhat was here for some time. why didn't you "got to know" him in his time??



By Sickboy at 21,Jul,13 19:33 other posts of Sickboy 
Take care straw, all the best.





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