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A realization...

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Started by JustWill at 20,Apr,17 13:39  other posts of JustWill
I've been a member here, off and on, for over six years (member 89828 and 303133 are my old user numbers.)
In that time, I've seen quite a few blog posts or Forum comments which simply said: "I am gay" or "I like to suck cock" or some other basic statement of a similar sentiment. At first, I would think 'Big fucking deal, Pal. Do you want a medal or a damn cookie?' in my typical, sarcastic fashion.
Then it dawned on me: For the guys who wrote those posts, it IS a big fucking deal.
For many of them, that simple post is the first time they have ever made such a statement about themselves publicly.
That's a pretty major moment for them.
Granted, it's being done with relative anonymity but, still,
for that individual, it is a pretty big deal.
Putting the 'I like to suck cock' statement out there for others to see, to actually admit out loud (or, in this case, in writing) something that you've been afraid to share, can be extremely freeing.
So, this is a retroactive apology to all of the guys that I have sarcastically (and in my own head) dismissed over the years.
Sorry, guys.
It IS a big deal, and you DO deserve a cookie!

Similar topics: 1.Realization you are Bi...particularly women, but to all   2.late night chat was a heist!!!   3.6 Thoughts for Cocksuckers   4.showing her ASS   5.The Amazon and I  

New Comment

By Sal5408 at 21,Sep,17 11:20 other posts of Sal5408 
I think it is a big deal, but only for you. I've never felt the need to publicly announce my bi-sexuality. No one's business.

The only ones who I share this info with are the five men I see, two of which are on a steady basis.
By JustWill at 21,Sep,17 18:14 other posts of JustWill 
Apparently, you've completely missed the point I was making.
What I said was that, for some people, it is a big deal for them to admit their sexuality out loud (or in writing in a public forum). That being the case, they should not be ridiculed or dismissed simply because they are doing so. For a lot of people, hiding that part of themselves from the people they care about (and from themselves in many cases), is a huge burden. Working up the courage to admit who they are and how they feel is an enormous step.
So, that isn't the case for you. Congratulations. (Buy yourself an extra cookie.)
However...the dismissive attitude of your comment kind of proves the point I was making. (So I hope the cookies you buy are very stale and taste like sawdust.)
By Sal5408 at 24,Sep,17 20:55 other posts of Sal5408 
Ok. Let me correct, or better yet, clarify, my above statement
In the first sentence, my use of the word "you", wasn't meant as you, the person 'justwill'.

Rather 'you' was meant in a collective sense, meaning anyone, as an individual. Their own choice.

Sorry about that.

I stand by the rest of my statement.
By Icudoiwill2 at 24,Sep,17 21:59 other posts of Icudoiwill2 
Ooo ... Will...... You might have to change the cookies bit..

By JustWill at 25,Sep,17 12:36 other posts of JustWill 
Your clarification seems to indicate that you accept that it is a big deal for the individual making the declaration.
In that case, we are in agreement and have nothing to argue about.
I also agree with your statement that publicly divulging one's sexuality is entirely the choice of each individual, and that not all people feel the need to do so--nor should they feel compelled to make their private business a public affair.
I appreciate that you took the time to clarify, and I hope that all of your future cookie purchases bring you only fresh and tasty baked goods!
By Icudoiwill2 at 25,Sep,17 16:39 other posts of Icudoiwill2 

By 2nice at 19,Sep,17 18:28 other posts of 2nice 
This post hit home a bit. My honesty was very hurtful to both my love ones and myself.
By JustWill at 21,Sep,17 18:24 other posts of JustWill I just have about a million questions. You are such a damn tease...

By onthelose at 19,Sep,17 20:42 other posts of onthelose 
I guess it really depends if you think that your friends or relatives can come on here and see you and read what you say and do.. I have family and friends but the chances of anyone seeing me here is extreme. Its not like living in a small community where everyone knows everyone. If you are afraid then just don't do it, because everything on the internet is there for ever for every one to see. Besides whos business is it if you like what you like as long as you don't hurt anyone.
By JustWill at 21,Sep,17 18:22 other posts of JustWill 
I was not advocating that everyone should shout their sexual preferences out to any stranger that passes by. Your business is your business.
I was merely saying that, for some people, publicly verbalizing the truth about their sexuality does mean something to them.
By all means, share as much--or as little--of your "business" as you like. No one is demanding that you do otherwise.
Just keep in mind that some men/women feel differently about "outing" themselves, and don't dismiss them for doing so.

By Sal5408 at 21,Sep,17 11:21 other posts of Sal5408 
And if I want a cookie, I'll go buy some.

By Icudoiwill2 at 19,Sep,17 20:02 other posts of Icudoiwill2 
Very we'll said. Apreciate the reminder to myself.

By andrew999999999 at 19,Sep,17 15:17 other posts of andrew999999999 
I was a hesitant to put pics of myself which showed my face on here (and it was a few years after joining this site that I did), because my profile says I'm bi, and I've admitted to having gay experiences on here. It was easy to say those things when people didn't know what I looked like, but now that I can be recognised it's different. So I guess it's similar to what people admit about sexual preferences / fantasies on here.

By admin at 20,Apr,17 14:13 other posts of admin 
Interesting observation. I don't know if it's exactly true. But from what few people told me in private with "thanks for the site" - at least some come to the site to get that "burden" off their chest, to understand their sexuality at least in their own mind.
By JustWill at 20,Apr,17 16:53 other posts of JustWill 
I'm sure that what I wrote up there doesn't apply to everyone who makes an "I like cock" post, but I am willing to bet that it is true for a lot of them.
One of the cool things about SYD is that it does provide a relatively safe place for people to share that kind of thing without the 'risks' that might apply to coming out in 'real life'.
I have often wondered how many folks use a site like this to test the waters or get comfortable with their sexuality before actually speaking up to people they associate with in person.
By spermkiss at 20,Apr,17 18:57 other posts of spermkiss 
Thank you for posting this, Will. You deserve a gold star and a pat on the head. I'll send roses instead.
By JustWill at 20,Apr,17 20:30 other posts of JustWill 
Occasionally,I forget that I am supposed to be a totally sarcastic bastard and something like this sneaks out of my noggin.

It's something I've been meaning to say for a while, and today just felt like the right day.
Thanks for the roses!
By spermkiss at 21,Apr,17 10:43 other posts of spermkiss 
Hey, true genius is often disguised as sarcasm.
By #529544 at 26,Apr,17 15:52
True ,sperm kiss...sarcasm is a tricky word .I prefer to say Genius is patience...The man who invented the hamburger was smart...The man who invented the hamburger with cheese ,tomato ,lettuce pickle ...AND Bacon was a ...Genius...

By Cox4you at 24,Apr,17 22:51 other posts of Cox4you 
Well said by you. It takes courage to admit something like that and this site even in anonymity allows someone to express something they most likely have been suppressing for a long time.
I'm sure just being able to discuss it in any capacity without harsh judgement must be a relief in many ways.
You're a good man
By JustWill at 25,Apr,17 12:37 other posts of JustWill 
Thanks, Cox!

I still remember the first time I said it out loud to other people, and the sense of relief that hit me several moments after the words:"What can I say? I'm a cocksucker." left my mouth.
Granted, I said it in front of Mark and Eric--both of whom I had been blowing on a regular basis for several months by then--but doing the deed and claiming the 'title' are different things. Until that point, I don't think I had ever made the admission aloud to myself (though I DID run the question round and round in my mind for quite some time prior.)

I also remember the momentary pause, like I was waiting for lightning to shoot through the ceiling and strike me dead for making such a statement (I was only 14, but I believe that many an older guy has the same feeling of dread when they make the same confession publicly or to themselves). When no such divine retribution occurred, it was like a large weight had been lifted off of my chest.
Every guy who has wrestled with defining their sexuality deserves to experience that same sense of relief.

By talk4s at 20,Apr,17 14:32 other posts of talk4s 
That is very true, JustWill! Too bad most of the people on this planet cannot have the same type eye openers! ...Have you been watching 'Bitchin' Rides'?? Because that is a GREAT show!
By JustWill at 20,Apr,17 16:45 other posts of JustWill 
I've not seen the show. Will have to check it out.
By talk4s at 24,Apr,17 14:56 other posts of talk4s 
I thought for sure you had seen it. The shop boss often gives a cookie to the fantastically talented guys doing their magical car transformations...Kindigit

By kebmo at 21,Apr,17 11:15 other posts of kebmo 
I like to suck cock! I also like raisin oatmeal cookies.
I have only one friend that I talk to it about. Judy has known for about four years.
My last girlfriend also knows. Although we are still friends, we don't talk about it. It wasn't the reason for our relationship's demise though.
Just as it is none of my business what my nieces, brothers or parents do in their bedroom, it is none of theirs what I do in mine. I've never had a boyfriend but if I did, I would tell my family and friends who he really is and it would be OK with them. Until then it's just a part of my private life that will remain just that.
By JustWill at 21,Apr,17 12:39 other posts of JustWill 
First, though raisin oatmeal cookies are not the best cookie (peanut butter and chocolate chip are, by far, the greatest of all cookies!), I am not sure why you feel the need to hide your fondness for them from your friends and family.

As to the sexuality issue: I totally get what you mean. Who you have sex with is your business and yours alone. No argument from me. I've been aware of my sexual orientation since I was 14, and never felt the need to fill anyone else in on the matter. I wasn't ashamed, just didn't feel it was anyone's business. The only reason I shared that information with family and certain close friends was to explain the constant presence of the guy I have been happily living with for the past 20+ years.

However, for a lot of people, the act of admitting their sexuality publicly is also about admitting it to themselves. They need to put it out there so that they can learn to accept who they are. For them, it's an important step, and a very big deal.

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