Started by JustWill at 03,Oct,18 16:39 other posts of JustWill
 | It's as simple as that.
Guys who don't ACT like predators don't get ACCUSED of acting like predators. Here's a helpful tip: If you have to ask yourself "Gosh, is what I am doing/saying kind of rapey?"-- it probably is. Stop doing/saying it immediately. You're welcome, Will  |
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However, there is an underlying issue there that people tend to overlook: Demanding that anyone performs a sexual act in order to get a job/promotion/raise/whatever is, in no way, shape, or form okay. If your boss demanded a blowjob for a promotion, you have every right to tell him to go to hell. Of course, you'd probably lose your job, but he had no right to make such a demand in the first place.
That's the angle I have been approaching that part of the #MeToo movement from since the beginning. Sure, those women made a choice, but being f@rced to make that choice should not be legal. The men (and women) who use their power to put people in that position need to be stopped.
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As to the statute of limitations issue, I don't disagree. I think that the problem is that it wasn't until now that many of those women felt that it was "safe" to come forward. By the way they are being treated, I'm pretty sure that they are discovering that it wasn't as "safe" as they thought. Still, the chances of being believed are greater now than they have been in the past.
I am sure that, as time goes by, women (or men) will start coming forward sooner. History just had to open the door for that to happen as it should.
One of the tricky things about dealing with sexual assault victims is that, in many ways, they often suffer through mental/emotional issues similar to those seen in people with PTSD. They frequently "blank" on details or, in some cases, the incident itself. Later in life, certain circumstances can "trigger" their memory, and cause bits and pieces to come back. Trauma has that effect on the human mind.
My hope is that, as things become more safe for people to report (and more people come to understand (or accept) the complications--mental and emotional--that a victim has to deal with), there will be less stigma connected to coming forward and cases will be resolved sooner.
Maybe, putting the fear of actually being held accountable for their actions will make some of those offenders think twice before victimizing someone. (I am not really optimistic about that, though. As a general rule, people suck.)
As an aside, Canada does not have a statute of limitations on any crime.
I know a man, who had written several false complaints to police because he had a financial disagreement with hotel owners he worked for. Like they are running d.rug operation in the hotel, then that they don't pay taxes, etc. And the "funny" part was that he robbed them, not that they did not pay him salary or something. He had stolen a motor boat from them and they tried to demand him. But he was more experienced with criminal matters and disgraceful. Probably had some kind of criminal past.
It does not matter how you behave, if needed they can make some shit up. Like that case with Assange. The girl was with him consensually and admitted to that, but then suddenly he is a rapist because second time he did not put condom or did not ask her if she wanted to go again, but she did not say anything, how the fuck are you supposed to know? Do we need a lawyer, written contract, live witnesses and a camera every time we have sex now?
Also that logic - don't behave like a predator and you will not be ever accused is pretty much like a statement "don't look like a whore and you will never be sexually assaulted". You either a sexual predator or you are not. If you just like to make jokes about sex or like to make compliments to women that does not make you a sexual predator. But it can be seen as "behaves like a predator" depending on subjective perception of some people. And such opinions is something that you can't really disprove.
People suck.
The issue I am talking about, though, is all of the idiotic "I worry about my sons" bullshit that the American conservatives are spouting in light of the #MeToo Movement. They keep going on and on about how their boys will be "falsely" accused of sexual harassment if we start believing that women who report that they were victimized are being truthful. The simple truth is that if they TEACH their sons how to behave, there isn't any real reason to worry--unless their son is a total asshole. Teach your sons to treat women the way you want men to treat your daughters. How hard is that?
Do false charges of sexual abuse happen? Yes, they do.
However, statistically speaking, only 2%-6% of investigated charges (remember, only about 40% of sexual assaults are actually reported!), are found to be false. Those are really small percentages to cause so much "worry" about the well-being of your sons over.
But if you select only accusations made against wealthy and powerful people where there is something to gain or lose, you may find that the stats are different.
Worst people in my experience are the new rich, who suddenly popped up from social bottom. I have seen a lot of them in Eastern Europe. They are often blinded by power that money give them, but were never taught style, manners or restrain.
Here is the related study, about correlation between education and crime in general (r@pes included) - only registered users can see external links
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A number of years ago, my sнster allowed her youngest boy to use the family car to drive from her area in Michigan to Sandusky, Ohio to go to Cedar Point for the day and an overnight stay. The trip is about 3 to 3.5 hours, her son, my nephew was 16 and the other boys were 16, too. Now, not being a parent, perhaps all my brain cells are not fried and I wondered where these young boys were going to stay, because they are still considered legally minors and what yo-yo entity would even assume the liability of overseeing 5 or 6 minors?
When the nephew returns from his adventure, I'm talking to him and asking about the overnight trip. He mentions so-and-so went and the other so-and-so, a couple more names and then "Sam". Having never heard him mention Sam, I ask him whether Sam is a boy or girl and much to my, I'm not going to say surprise, I'm going to say disbelief, he admits Sam is a girl. As I recall, the first thing that I said was something like, "Are you crazy?" Then I went on to say that all these fellas stuffed into one tent PLUS 1 young girl was a recipe for BIG problems. All she would need to say is that YOU touched her against her wishes, etc and your life, as you know it, is over. And of course, I received a typical 16 year old response, "Timmy would say that I didn't!"
He will soon be 32 years old and this trip MAY comeback to haunt him......