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Started by mr_blue at 07,Apr,15 07:14  other posts of mr_blue
Is honesty the best policy ?

Is it better to lie to someone to be nice to them ?
So you don't hurt their precious ego ?

Can you be honest with someone without hurting their feelings ?

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New Comment

By cody8789 at 12,Oct,18 14:32 other posts of cody8789 
It's better to not say anything negative at all, unless you want to get back at someone, then give it to them good
By Skittles at 12,Oct,18 15:37 other posts of Skittles 
yeah, what that cunt Cody said
By Dev01 at 12,Oct,18 16:23 other posts of Dev01 
By cody8789 at 12,Oct,18 19:36 other posts of cody8789 

By veryshyguy at 12,Oct,18 11:25 other posts of veryshyguy 
Can you be perceived as being "too honest"?

And do you want your government to be honest to you and to always tell you the truth about what is going on? Think about it. Like the character that Jack Nicholson played in "A few good men" where he says "You can't handle the truth."
By #562152 at 12,Oct,18 12:06
Lollipop, being perceived as being too honest usually means the person is a jerk. It's good to be honest but no one says you have to blab that truth. Imagine a woman who has a face that sinks battleships. You don't go up to her and say,"Lady, you are UUUUUUUGGGGGLLLYYYYY!!!!".
As far as the government goes, i don't need to know everything they do. Remember, governments are amoral. They have to be to protect the country, but, if they try to inform us on something then, i prefer the truth.
By veryshyguy at 12,Oct,18 16:48 other posts of veryshyguy 

Truth these days is more of what individuals want to believe as the truth, and how they perceive the world. These days "truth" or what we would like to believe as truth has no basis in fact. Sad as it is...

Truth has been sacrificed for power and political gain.
By #562152 at 12,Oct,18 16:59

By up-for-it at 12,Oct,18 15:50 other posts of up-for-it 
I like my friends to be honest with me, even when it hurts!
People who only agree with me, can't be friends, really

So yes; Honesty!

By Skittles at 12,Oct,18 15:37 other posts of Skittles 
There's truth on this site??

By phart at 12,Oct,18 10:18 other posts of phart 
It seems everytime i am not honest and tell a fibula,a small lie, I have tell 41 more to cover it up.And that gets tiresome. My ex girlfriend used to bitch about me being to honest. "can't you lie sometimes about something that might make me feel better". No, because the feeling would only be tempoary and I would have to keep up the lie.
By #562152 at 12,Oct,18 12:07
telling a lie is easy,,covering for that lie can be exhausting,,

By #477982 at 13,May,15 07:24
I've always fallen for lying to someone to be nice to them, because confrontation always ends up being pointless, and I really don't like it. Trouble is though that lies always come out in the end, and the other party at some level knew it was a lie, but went along with it because it felt better. Probably best to be truthful without phrasing it in a hurtful way would be my ideal way.
By bella! at 13,May,15 09:29 other posts of bella! 
Please explain a bit further when you say that you lie to be nice.

Does this only pertain to your personal relationship? Are you saying that when your significant other comes home with a new haircut/hairstyle that you don't prefer, you're apt to say you like it? If you don't feel all warm and fuzzy about the new look, you are spot on, there are ways to convey your thoughts without being blunt or rude. How do you manage your opinion in the business world?

By #562152 at 11,Oct,18 15:37
your last sentence makes sense,,,find the least hurtful way to tell the truth

By sickboy2314 at 14,May,15 18:30 other posts of sickboy2314 
--------------------------------------- added after 21 seconds

--------------------------------------- added after 90 seconds

Some people can't handle the truth!.....especially on here!!
By #458225 at 14,May,15 21:01
What is "truth"?
By #111863 at 15,May,15 03:36
A rare commodity on here
By mr_blue at 15,May,15 04:03 other posts of mr_blue 

By #562152 at 11,Oct,18 15:35
Truth has been overshadowed by photo shopping and story telling

By licksipsuckit at 16,Jul,15 04:14 other posts of licksipsuckit 
yes honesty is the best policy, the truth is always the best way to go, theres only 2 kinds of people l detest, and that's liars and thieves, and they usually go hand in hand...ld rather say nothing than lie..and when lve been put in a position that a lie would be the better way to say something, l ask the person whether they want to hear the truth, or want me to blow hot air up their arse, they usually realise they don't want to hear what l have to say...*lix*
By #562152 at 11,Oct,18 15:33
I agree with you Lix,,truth may hurt but that is not for us to protect other people from.

By _avg_ at 14,May,15 23:22 other posts of _avg_ 
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
~George Carlin
By mr_blue at 15,May,15 03:04 other posts of mr_blue 

By mr_blue at 07,Apr,15 12:55 other posts of mr_blue 
Is honesty the best policy = no......

Is it better to lie to someone to be nice to them?
So you don't hurt their precious ego ? = yes

Can you be honest with someone without hurting their feelings ? = yes....

Simple answers.....The situations you are in will contribute to your wording of what you say...

But when it comes down to it....

The answers will be the same,well from my view anyway...

No.yes and yes....
By bella! at 07,Apr,15 14:15 other posts of bella! 
Is honesty the best policy = no.....?

So then you are only speaking of how it relates to communication.

Is honesty the best policy = yes....

When I go to a store, I pay for my purchases rather than steal them. When I've received a subpoena to appear in court, I swear to tell the truth.
By mr_blue at 07,Apr,15 14:38 other posts of mr_blue 
Communication is everything in life....

I am speaking as a principle in life...

Do you think George W Bush and Tony Blair,well any politician is honest ?....they lie to the voters through a smile....people mostly only tell the truth/are honest when they feel threatened/been caught....

Do you think a m0ther who has to steal food to feed her offspring would be honest if she was arrested for stealing....knowing that if she is charged and the case goes to court she would lose custody of her k1ds ?...

Lawyers are paid to be dishonest that is why they make so much money.....

Swearing an oath on a book doesn't mean you will be honest...

Look at the grey areas of life.....dishonesty is rife....

How many times have you bought something,only to be hit with a hidden charge to your credit card ?.....

Governments lie and are dishonest,they have to be,to protect that nations interests....

So my answers are still the same to my original post...
By cupar at 07,Apr,15 17:03 other posts of cupar 
The law in the UK is that an MP is allowed to lie, all perfectly legal. Its the reason for lying that I have trouble with.
By mr_blue at 07,Apr,15 17:15 other posts of mr_blue 
That may be the case,but if you look at my answers...still the same...

I don't actually think an MP can deliberately lie,they have an oath like Doctors if I am not mistaken....

I think you might be referring to what is said in the house of lords cannot be prosecuted for, if it is deemed a lie....

That's all semantics anyway...

What are your answers to my OP ? Just curious
--------------------------------------- added after 8 minutes

A bit of contradiction in my words....but I hope you get what I mean...Tony Blair was dishonest and then lied about what he knew at the time...later known as the sexed up dossier,which led to a w@r

By bella! at 07,Apr,15 20:54 other posts of bella! 
What is an MP? In the States an MP refers to Military Police.
By #396572 at 08,Apr,15 13:55
Member of Parliament, i.e. elected politician.
Having typed the word politician, i´m curious to see if it passes the nasty-word-check hee hee
--------------------------------------- added after 17 seconds

it did
By bella! at 10,Apr,15 15:36 other posts of bella! 
Thank you, dear!

By sinanff47 at 12,Apr,15 21:34 other posts of sinanff47 
'alexblue', I respectfully disagree with most of your points in this box here; but it does not seem the place for a long, 'political type' discussion here.
By mr_blue at 12,Apr,15 21:56 other posts of mr_blue 
I don't mind if the thread gets dumpstered....

Share your view
By sinanff47 at 12,Apr,15 22:21 other posts of sinanff47 
OK, I'll start with addressing 2 of your points. However one of my answers will be straightforward, and one will be with tongue in cheek. Perhaps you can guess which?

-No one is "hit with a hidden charge" on their credit card, after purchasing something, since that is quite 'not legal' for all credit card companies. Those charges are always spelled out well beforehand, though of course, many folks don't read 'the fine print'.

--The Canadian Government is NOT dishonest and does NOT lie, except of course when dealing with the nut jobs in the country just South of it; where it is sometimes necessary to protect itself and its 4000 mile long undefended border.

By mr_blue at 12,Apr,15 22:40 other posts of mr_blue 
I am not talking about credit card companies though...I just said you might get a hidden charge....who adds a hidden charge to a credit card bill,people do.......

Are you not aware of 'shoulder surfers' and other such credit card scams ?

If your credit card leaves your sight you are asking to get scammed....that it is why I have a debit card...

Canada's relationship with those guys is probably better left to this guy..
only registered users can see external links

By cockslut69 at 10,Apr,15 20:01 other posts of cockslut69 
Well I find honesty is only the best policy if the person asking a question for example is made aware that they might not like the answer I personally ask anyone who asks my honest opinion at least three times if they are sure that they want me to give my personal opinion instead of saying what they want to hear and obviously I warn them I am about as tactful as a sledgehammer to the face and if after all that they still want to hear my answer then I will give it.
By mr_blue at 10,May,15 10:02 other posts of mr_blue 

By #278535 at 16,Apr,15 14:40
I always try to be honest to anybody

By leopoldij at 13,Apr,15 16:14 other posts of leopoldij 
Honesty is the best policy almost all the time. If this were everyone's modus operandi, the world would have been a better place. Unfortunately, lies abound from all sides.

By licksipsuckit at 11,Apr,15 19:19 other posts of licksipsuckit 
use the old rule, if you got nothing nice to say, say nothing, if they persist, l ask them if they really want the truth or if they want me to blow hot air up their arse...and most times, they know the truth, but are just wanting a reaction or sympathy, give them neither *lix*

By sickboy2314 at 07,Apr,15 19:28 other posts of sickboy2314 
" you ain't gotta lie to kick it!"
By mr_blue at 08,Apr,15 09:24 other posts of mr_blue 

By #445126 at 08,Apr,15 07:21
So I guess I will weigh in, though I don't know how my thoughts will be embraced .......

Honesty is always the best, but vocalizing your honesty is not always the best policy. My perception of an honest answer is not the same as another's perception of an honest answer. We all own our thoughts, and they are not always relevant to others; even when others are foolish enough to ask the opinion of strangers!

A simple, "It's not my aesthetic" is a kind enough way to say you might not care for something. When it comes to photos, you can dislike a photo and not dislike the subject, and that is an important piece of the algorithm.
By mr_blue at 08,Apr,15 09:18 other posts of mr_blue 
Cool reply ST...

I guess I could throw a cliché in.....

It is not what you say/do but the way that you say/do it..

Maybe that sums up the general consensus on what we feel about honesty ?

By #85103 at 07,Apr,15 11:23
I say honesty is the policy. However, how would you know if I'm being honest when I say that, huh?
By bella! at 07,Apr,15 11:38 other posts of bella! 
Are you being honest? Huh?
By #85103 at 07,Apr,15 11:43
Do you want my honest answer?
By bella! at 07,Apr,15 12:37 other posts of bella! 
By #85103 at 07,Apr,15 14:42
Hahaha! I'm always honest... except for when I'm not being honest.
By bella! at 07,Apr,15 19:22 other posts of bella! 
YOU, my dear, are a conundrum!

By #396572 at 07,Apr,15 15:47
It depends

Work: all about lies anyway. Dog eat dog. Swim with the sharks.

Private/personal, yes, total honesty but cushion the message and remember that the Receiver is human and has Feelings

In between, e.g. this site, depends on how cruel or fun-feeling you are today. Some People Need dependence on others to prop them up in their delusions of life. Cruel honesty is the solution unless you want to be their lifebelt and blame-prop for ever. Others are nice People whose Feelings Need to be respected. What´s the difference? Dunno ,depends on the mood (People i like excepted, kisses for you always).

So i suppose, the answer to the question is more about how much you give a shit about hurting their Feelings.

PS random insertion of capital letters seems to happen by itself.
By bella! at 07,Apr,15 16:54 other posts of bella! 
Thank you, dear!

By #472648 at 07,Apr,15 12:14
I guess it's all in the way you deliver the message. If the truth ain't prerty it doesn't necessarily mean you have to crush someone with it. Generally speaking I think a lot of people should try to choose their words more carefully anyway...
By bella! at 07,Apr,15 12:48 other posts of bella! 
How you deliver the message, for sure.

If the message is conveyed via a text message, a private message, an email, etc., you do not have benefit of hearing the tone of the voice, or to see the facial expressions or body language so it would be important to choose your words carefully unless you really don't care about the recipient's 'precious ego'.

By #470422 at 07,Apr,15 07:51
I'd rather some one tell me right out they don't like my pics. To many people here have stupid pics or poor pics you can hardly make. Honesty is the only way they will know their pics suck. And maybe it's time to replace a few or take new ones. But that just one mans opinion. . So be honest and tell me if you like my pics, or don't like my pics.
By Andthisisme at 07,Apr,15 10:03 other posts of Andthisisme 
My starting point on SYD is not to offend or hurt anyone. Sometimes I am asked to say what I think of a persons pics or their dick. If there are faults with the photography, such as using a camera phone and geting low quality images I would suggest they try to get higher quality pics, but would not be brutal about their low quality pics. If I am asked to comment on a dick I tend to take the stand taken by suggested by Thumper's mother - "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing all".
By bella! at 07,Apr,15 10:38 other posts of bella! 
Hell to the yeah to Thumper's mother!

By bella! at 07,Apr,15 09:31 other posts of bella! 
That is a very tricky question. Certainly "honesty is the best policy". I guess ones honesty would depend on who you are being honest with.

If your family member or dear friend was sporting a dress or a suit coat that you felt didn't compliment them and they asked for your opinion, yes, be honest. But there are ways to be honest without being hurtful. Who am I to judge what someone might like or feel good about?

I cannot imagine being blunt or "honest" with a stranger. When I was interning at a local pharmacy, a gentleman came in that looked like he wrestled with a bear and smelled even worse. When interacting with him, I quickly learned to breathe through my mouth. Is it my position to guide him to the soap aisle?

The sentence(s) you wrote;

Is it better to lie to someone to be nice to them ? 
So you don't hurt their precious ego ? 

I do not believe that you're referring to a family member or a dear friend. Is there a right or wrong way to handle this person? It's totally up to you.

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