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TELL US SOME CORNY JOKES

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Started by routemaster at 19,Aug,18 23:57  other posts of routemaster
I told my doctor I had a phobia about hurdles. He told me I just needed to get over it.

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I once had a job digging holes. It was really boring.

* * * *



Similar topics: 1.SEX JOKES.   2.The biggest jokes on this site   3.Anyone disabled   4.Dumpster jokes and humour....   5.Joke Central  

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Comments:
By routemaster at 15,Sep,18 04:56 other posts of routemaster 
I went to the chiropodist the other day and the woman made a joke about one of my little toes. I thought, blimey that's a corny one.

*****


By Whoknows at 14,Sep,18 03:20 other posts of Whoknows 
A guy goes for a pee and is shocked when the pee sprays out in different directions from some holes that have mysteriously developed along his cock during the night. He's too embarrassed to mention it to anyone and suffers with the problem as best as he can over the next few weeks until he finally builds up enough courage to see a doctor about it.

Doctor: Ok, what can I help you with today?
Guy: Well it's a bit embarrassing to be honest, doctor. I seem to have some new holes on my penis and it's causing me so much trouble as you can imagine. I've been worried about it for weeks now and I'm hoping you can help me, please?
Doctor: Hmmm, interesting. It's something I haven't come across before. Ok, let's have a look and see what we can do.

The guy lowers his trousers and the doctor examines his penis for a few moments, then writes a note and hands it to the guy.

Doctor: Give this man a call. I'm sure he'll be able to help you.
Guy: Oh, is he a specialist in problems to do with the penis, doctor?
Doctor: No, he's a clarinet player and could probably show you how to hold it properly.


I'm here all week, folks!


By routemaster at 14,Sep,18 02:46 other posts of routemaster 
I met my wife at an orgy. Funny, as I thought she was at her s i s t e r ' s in Scunthorpe.

* * * *

A l a d y f r i e n d of mine loaned me a waterproof sheet.
I said: "Ta Pauline."

* * * *


By 0-00 at 29,Aug,18 13:40 other posts of 0-00 
How do you circumcise a whale?
Send down four skin divers...


By bigg at 29,Aug,18 12:57 other posts of bigg 
A large hole has appeared in the middle of the Main Street.

Police are looking into it


By kebmo at 28,Aug,18 18:46 other posts of kebmo 
Whos do you call to clean the ocean?

Mermaids


By sickboy2314 at 28,Aug,18 18:21 other posts of sickboy2314 
A nurse pulls a thermometer out of her pocket and say's "some arseholes got my pen"


By bigg at 24,Aug,18 16:11 other posts of bigg 
I wrote to my mother and said Id grown another foot

So she knitted me another sock


By routemaster at 23,Aug,18 03:05 other posts of routemaster 
Did you hear about the chef who got annoyed when nobody liked his latest recipe?

He had a chip on his shoulder.

* * * *


By Arexa at 23,Aug,18 02:35 other posts of Arexa 
Two fish run into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "Dam."


By kebmo at 22,Aug,18 22:39 other posts of kebmo 
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs


By leopoldij at 21,Aug,18 21:35 other posts of leopoldij 
Question to all:
Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
By Ravioli_Max at 22,Aug,18 02:22 other posts of Ravioli_Max 
Why?
By leopoldij at 22,Aug,18 06:23 other posts of leopoldij 
Because everyone is dying to get in.
By Ravioli_Max at 22,Aug,18 17:38 other posts of Ravioli_Max 





By bigg at 22,Aug,18 17:22 other posts of bigg 
Two cannibals have to share a man, so they agree that one starts at each end.

(After a Minute)

First cannibal: Wow Im having a ball

Second cannibal: Hold on, youre eating too fast


By Cutewilly at 22,Aug,18 17:01 other posts of Cutewilly 
The difference between an Egg and a wank... you can beat an Egg but you can't beat a wank.

I went to my local Pharmacy, they were giving away free condoms but it was on a "first cum, first served" basis.

I used to work in the Viagra factory, they were hard times.


By nanookie2 at 22,Aug,18 02:47 other posts of nanookie2 
Bacon and eggs walked into a bar.

The bartender said, "We don't serve breakfast here."


By bigg at 21,Aug,18 17:24 other posts of bigg 
Two cows meet in a field.

First cow: "Moooooooooo"

Second cow: "I was going to say that too!"


By TWOWARMTTS2 at 21,Aug,18 16:06 other posts of TWOWARMTTS2 
A priest, a rabbi and a buddist monk walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look and says " Is this a joke?"


By routemaster at 21,Aug,18 01:50 other posts of routemaster 
What did Cinderella say when her photos were late arriving back from the chemist?

Some day my prints will come.

* * * *


By 7inchuk at 20,Aug,18 23:51 other posts of 7inchuk 
How do you find will Smith in the snow...?
You look for the fresh prince


By leopoldij at 20,Aug,18 10:32 other posts of leopoldij 
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the peep hole and find out.


By leopoldij at 20,Aug,18 10:28 other posts of leopoldij 
I hope you don't want to include jokes about menstruation in this thread because they arent funny. Period.


By leopoldij at 20,Aug,18 10:26 other posts of leopoldij 
You know what the cannibal did after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his ass.





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